A queer parenting support group is changing lives one family at a time

A queer parenting group at Chicago’s Northwestern University has created a vital support system that is helping its members better support their family members.

The faculty-only group meets monthly at the University Women’s Center and is comprised of LGBTQ+ parents, parents of LGBTQ+ kids, and parents who want to raise their kids in affirming environments, according to a report from the Daily Northwestern.

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“It’s a very generous community of people,” Sarah Brown, one of the group’s organizers and the director of the Women’s Center, told the publication. “If somebody’s like, ‘My kid just came out to me,’ and there’s also queer folks in the room, they can be like, ‘This is what this was like for me.’”

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Determined to raise her first child as free from gender roles as possible, Cassie Ptoskey, the university’s director of alumni engagement, joined the group for support on gender-creative parenting.

“I’m really glad that I did take that first step to go to meetings because otherwise, I don’t really have a group to talk about these types of questions,” Petoskey said. “And how cool is it that it’s at the place where I work?”

The members also help each other learn to better support their LGBTQ+ children, and the group serves as a safe space where parents can ask questions about their kids’ identities without placing that burden on the kids themselves.

“I often think that it’s doing you harm to be the one who has to explain your identity to a person in your life,” Brown said. 

“I don’t want my child to do the heavy work with me,” said Stephanie Kulke, the mother of a nonbinary teen and the fine/performing arts and social sciences editor of NU Global Marketing and Communications. “I want to support my child.” 

Kulke said the group has been “so expansive” for her, adding that “it makes me realize there are so many more options for my child.”

Groups like these may be more integral than ever as LGBTQ+ youth and families face endless legislative attacks against their right to exist. In this highly charged environment, it is crucial to create as many accepting and affirming spaces as possible. As Melanie Wilingham-Jaggers, Executive Director of LGBTQ+ education advocacy organization GLSEN, recently explained to LGBTQ Nation, the best way to fight hate is to come together with others.

“Get with people,” they said. “Who are you in community with? Who are you accountable to? How are you building together something that is going to be durable, that can be more than just you and this other guy who totally gets what you’re talking about? How are you building the circle so that more people can join it, and so we can build something durable enough to win?”