“I’m coming for Florida”: This plus-size lesbian pageant queen won’t let DeSantis dim her light

In October 2022, Emma-Jay Webber waved a Progress Pride flag on the stage of the Ms. Great Britain national finals. That night, she made history as the first openly lesbian finalist of the prestigious UK pageant.

“I took the opportunity in [the swimwear round] to hide a flag around my waist, and when I got to the end of the stage, I just ripped it out,” she tells LGBTQ Nation. “It was such an iconic moment, and I will forever remember it.” She speaks from her home in Bristol, sporting a glowing smile and a pride-themed manicure.

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Webber, a mother of two who works as a forklift driver, first got into pageantry shortly after her marriage ended.

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“I was literally a different person,” she recalls. “I had no self-esteem, no self-confidence. I didn’t even have mirrors in my house. And then in 2017, I remember being sat on the sofa one day, and I just had enough. So, I Googled ‘how to improve your self-esteem’ and stumbled across the British Beauty Curve pageant.”

“I’m definitely a tomboy, wearing heels was not for me. But seeing the girls on the stage wearing big dresses and looking really fabulous, I thought they looked like me, they were kind of my body size, and I just wanted to wear a nice dress and feel nice about myself. So, I thought, what an amazing opportunity. I didn’t have a clue what I was getting myself into, not even on the day of the finals.”

Finishing first runner-up, Webber went on to compete in Miss International Curve in 2018. She was crowned Miss Paragon International in 2019 and Miss World Class England in 2020. Throughout her pageant career, she has been a role model for body positivity and LGBTQ+ rights.

Now she is preparing for her next big adventure: representing the UK at the Ms. World International pageant. This year, the televised competition, spreading across five nights from August 20 to 24, is taking place in Miami, Florida.

It is ironic to think how the intensive event, culminating in a grand final extravaganza in the Coral Springs Center for the Arts, is not dissimilar to a typical run of RuPaul’s Drag Race – photoshoots, themed outfit rounds, even a yacht party. Drag shows are just one of the many aspects of queer culture currently under attack in Ron DeSantis’s Florida.

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A post shared by Emma-Jay Webber (@uk_pageantgirl)

While excited to travel to Miami with her children and some friends, Webber admits that the thought of competing there is also “quite daunting.”

“If my children went to school in Florida, they would not be able to speak about my own existence as their mother because of the Don’t Say Gay bill,” she observes.

The expansion of the Don’t Say Gay bill, granted by Florida’s Board of Education at the request of State Gov. Ron DeSantis (R), is part of an unprecedented legislative attack on LGBTQ+ and other minorities in the state. The law – signed and championed by DeSantis (R) – originally banned discussions of sexual orientation and gender identity in grades K-3 but has since been extended through grade 12.

The unleashing of discriminatory measures in Florida and other red states has led many LGBTQ+ people and families to relocate in fear of persecution.

As the mother of school-aged children, Webber worries about this anti-LGBTQ+ backlash spreading to the U.K., where an announced review of sex education guidelines could lead to similar Don’t Say Gay rules in schools.

“I still can’t wrap my head around that. It’s like, we’ve come so far and then, especially this year, it feels like we’ve taken ten steps back. It’s quite a daunting and scary place for LGBTQ+ people at the moment, especially the way trans people are made out in the media. Those laws have a massive impact, because they send out the message that being LGBTQ+ is wrong. That message is damaging.”

By being outspoken about her queerness, Webber hopes to lead by example, showing the beauty of being one’s true self.

 “I’m coming for Florida,” she asserts. “I know I’ve got the support of my friends and family. I know the directors and the Ms. World International organizers are 100% behind me, which is amazing.”

“I’m the first openly LGBTQ+ finalist to be in Ms. World International. There are just no words to describe what a massive and strong message it would put out there if I won.”

She also confesses she has some special outfit plans – “I’ll call it my Pride attire!” – but details are obviously top secret. She is also excited for the Victoria’s Secret-themed shoot: “Being plus-size and LGBTQ+, yeah, I’m going to have fun with that one.”

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A post shared by Emma-Jay Webber (@uk_pageantgirl)

Historically, pageantry has not been the most inclusive sector. Reflecting on her first experiences, Webber recalls people assuming she was straight.

“I was starting to realize: ‘Actually, where are the gay girls?’ It was non-existent back then, I kept getting asked where my husband was, where my boyfriend was. So, on my third pageant, I brought my girlfriend at the time with me. We were holding hands in the lobby area, and I didn’t think anything about it, but the atmosphere was tense. You could feel something was off.”

This led Webber to research LGBTQ+ representation in pageantry, making some unsettling findings.

“There were still rules in place that were unbelievable,” she recalls. “If you were in the Mrs. category, you had to be married to a man. It was in black and white in the rules – I’ve still got a screenshot because I just had to keep it. Also, you had to be the same gender you were assigned at birth, so a trans woman could never dream of competing in pageantry.”

Thanks to the work of activists, including queens, progress has been made. The Miss Diamond pageant, for instance, introduced an explicitly trans-inclusive entry regulation in 2021. Most pageants’ entry regulations, moreover, no longer specify the gender of the spouse for the Mrs categories.

“I’m really proud of UK pageantry for the changes they’ve been making in the last five years,” Webber smiles. “LGBTQ+ people are definitely welcome in pageantry [now], and we just need to make it even more normalized.”

In 2020, Webber launched the #IAmVisible campaign to promote LGBTQ+ visibility in pageantry and fashion. While feeling the inevitable pressure of being a public figure, she wishes to be the role model she did not have growing up.

“The main thing for me is to provide visibility and the message that it’s okay to be whoever you are, whatever shape, size, form, sexuality, gender. It’s okay to be yourself. And if more people did that, that’s going to make a difference.”

“When I was younger, there weren’t any LGBTQ+ role models. I could have come out years before if I had seen any representation around me.”

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A post shared by Emma-Jay Webber (@uk_pageantgirl)

“During my pageant journey I’ve done public speaking in schools… And the difference in the new generations in terms of being open about gender and sexuality is incredible compared to when I was in school. Removing [LGBTQ+ representation] from schools is only going to cause more homophobia, more transphobia. I mean, hate crimes are already on the rise.”

More than anything, Webber found a sense of purpose in pageantry. She’s made clear how much mutual admiration and support lie behind a world that may look only fiercely competitive to outsiders.

“You get to build friendships with these amazing women, who are all role models, with their own stories and their own backgrounds. And you genuinely want each other to win as well. It’s hard to imagine if you’re not in pageantry, but there’s a reason why you see everybody crying as they crown the winner.”

Webber is adamant about remaining in pageantry. Bringing the Ms. World International crown back home would fill in her calendar for the next 12 months.

After that, she says, “I’ll definitely need a few weeks off and think about what to do next. But given what we’ve achieved in the last five years in terms of LGBTQ+ rights and visibility, it would be a shame to stop now.”

What is certain is Webber’s life will not get less busy any time soon. “I have about three different calendars,” she explains. “And very supportive friends, family, and colleagues, which is very helpful.”

“To compete in pageants as me is probably one of my proudest achievements,” she says. “You get mixed reactions. A lot of love and support, but also the opposite. I got people saying I don’t look like a lesbian, or a beauty queen, all sorts of things. But that’s part of it. If you put yourself out there, you’re going to get a bit of resistance. And I think, if you get resistance, then you must be having some level of impact.”

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