You can’t get rid of us: LGBTQ+ youth activist ‘Desmond Is Amazing’ refuses to let the haters win

Teen LGBTQ+ influencer “Desmond is Amazing” first took the world by storm when videos of them sashaying through the 2015 New York City Pride Parade circulated the internet.

Their joyous display quickly became viral and propelled them to the status of LGBTQ+ icon.  

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Also known as Desmond Napoles, they first started doing drag at only seven years old, after dressing up as Elsa for Halloween. They thought drag performers were “princesses,” and ever since, they would wear blankets and other materials they could find around their house to dress in drag. 

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Nearly a decade later, Napoles no longer does drag, except for important advocacy events. Nevertheless, the 15-year-old social media star is using their platform to advocate for queer youth across the country.

“It’s not bad for kids to see there are different people out in the world,” Napoles told LGBTQ Nation. As someone who has grown up in the media — frequently featured in the spotlights of Teen Vogue, The New York Times, and many more — Napoles hopes their story can serve as a powerful rebuttal to any misconceptions about indoctrination

“You can’t brainwash a kid into thinking they’re LGBTQ,” said Napoles. “You can’t get rid of us no matter how hard you try.”

Napoles hopes to be a role model that other queer youth can look up to. They recently opened a fashion brand that aims to empower folks to proudly present their true selves.

They also published a children’s book a few years ago titled, Be Amazing: A History of Pride that encourages kids to “pay the haters no mind.”

Photo courtesy of ‘Desmond Is Amazing’

But being an advocate is not an easy task, and for Napoles, it often comes with risks. 

Last year, Napoles was forced to cancel a book-reading event at a New York City public library due to multiple threats on social media. The posts called Napoles homophobic slurs and one private message read:  “I’m going to that library, I’m going with a bucked [sic] of dog s**t and I’m pouring it on your parents and rubbing it into their eyes.

On top of the cyberbullying, the Napoles family has found themselves the subject of over 200 complaints with New York City’s Administration for Child Services (ACS). After a thorough investigation, which included unannounced visits to Napoles’ home and school, the ACS found no proof of wrongdoing. 

Nonetheless, Napoles is committed to keeping their head held high and “not letting them win.” 

“These people say they want to protect the kids but then they’re doing this, it just doesn’t make sense,” said Napoles. They said these attacks are just fear tactics meant to intimidate queer youth into silence.

But this fear-mongering extends far beyond online trolls and hateful comments. Napoles has a message for Republican lawmakers who seek to restrict the rights of queer youth, using Florida as an example. 

“My safety is in danger if I go to Florida. I could get in trouble,” said Napoles. “It affects me knowing I can’t go to certain parts of the country.” Florida has been an epicenter for anti-gay laws, with Gov. Ron DeSantis passing a drag queen ban and the notorious “Don’t Say Gay” bill which limits queer topics in public schools earlier this year. 

But for Napoles, this onslaught of Republican lawmakers’ attacks against queer youth is hypocritical. 

“If you actually cared, you wouldn’t be targeting LGBTQ youth but rather, the people who are actually hurting kids,” Napoles said. “Drag queens are much less likely to hurt a kid.”

Claims that drag queens are hurtful to kids or even pose a threat of “grooming” are unfounded and are simply meant to demonize drag queens. Many claims that link sexual abuse with drag queens quickly turn out to be false, such as a post that claimed a drag performer flashed children at a Minnesota library and another false claim that the head of Drag Queen Story Hour was arrested for child pornography. 

As Napoles’ story demonstrates, children are not swayed by drag performance. It does not “convert” them to be LGBTQ+, but rather, these accepting spaces provide a template for kids to embrace their authentic selves. As research has shown, youth with access to affirming spaces have better mental health outcomes and are less likely to attempt suicide. 

As merely a high school sophomore, Napoles actively serves as an inspiration and role model for countless LGBTQ+ youth who may feel marginalized. As they confront Republican legislators passing anti-gay bills, Desmond Is Amazing is a reminder that love knows no bounds.

“They want to get to you and you can’t let them do that,” Napoles said. “So just be yourself!”

Editor’s note: This story has been updated to accurately reflect that Napoles started doing drag at age seven. It originally misstate the age as two.