Andy Cohen uses skills he learned wrangling “Housewives” to parent his kids

Andy Cohen says he uses the same skills to wrangle both the stars of the Real Housewives franchise and his kids.

The host, producer, author, and mastermind behind Bravo’s reality TV hit joined parenting gurus Kristin Gallant and Deena Margolin on their podcast After Bedtime this week to discuss his recent book, The Daddy Diaries, and his experience raising his four-year-old son Ben and 19-month-old daughter Lucy.

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The CNN anchor is raising his two sons with friend and former partner Benjamin Maisani.

“I think dealing with toddlers is far more challenging than dealing with housewives or Bravo-lebrities,” Cohen admitted. “You can’t reason with a toddler. You can kind of reason with a housewife.”

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At the same time, however, Cohen says that parenting small children has influenced how he handles his role as ringmaster of the Real Housewives reunion shows. “I have been like, ‘You’re both pretty…’” he explained. “I do find myself occasionally going into Ben’s daddy mode as opposed to Housewives daddy mode.”

“My number one thing about dealing with talent — all talent — is that people want to be heard,” he continued. “And that’s with little kids, and that’s with, you know, stars of reality shows or housewives, and whatever. So, when someone calls me and they think it’s important enough to call me to complain about x, y, or z, you have to take that seriously, because they want you to hear them, they want you to acknowledge them.”

Cohen added that while he’s always approached the over-the-top stars of the Real Housewives franchise that way, he was inspired by Gallant and Margolin’s “Big Little Feelings” approach to parenting to apply it to his kids.  

He also stressed how important it has been for him to connect with other parents.

“You always think it’s worse for you in your house, or this can’t be normal, or there’s something wrong with my child,” he said. “And it’s been incredibly valuable to me to sit with — they’ve been predominantly moms… And they’ll tell me about the fits that their kid is having about television or this or that. It’s very helpful for me.”

Cohen went on to describe the challenges of being a single gay dad. “There were a few times where I was showing up for those first few birthday parties, where I’m taking Ben to a birthday party. I don’t know any of the other parents. It brought out a vulnerability in me that I was not in touch with, and a loneliness in me,” he recalled. “I’ve gotten better, obviously, because now I’ve done it, but it can be a little scary.”

But he said he’s fortunate to have created a community of gay dads, both coupled and single, including Anderson Cooper. “Building a community is the most important thing, I think, for any parent.”