Milo Yiannopoulos is having a hard time being an “ex-gay”

Far-right grifter Milo Yiannopoulos is having hard time being an ex-gay.

The 38-year-old former Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) intern and unrepentant racist declared two years ago he was giving up sodomy. It was Joe Biden’s inauguration day.

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Since then, in addition to jetting around with fellow antisemites Kanye West and Nick Fuentes, and taking credit for their infamous Mar-a-Lago dinner with Donald Trump as revenge on the former president for sucking “the boots of the Jewish powers that be who hate Jesus Christ,” and also using the n-word a lot because he just can’t help it, Yiannopoulos has been in therapy to make good on his promise, he claims.

Lately, he’s been sharing thoughts.

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“Last week, my therapist said we’re approaching a point in the process where I might consider (a) establishing routines and processes and safeguards that will cement me into celibacy for life, or (b) taking a punt on something riskier and more intimidating–years of work trying to drag my broken compass back to True North,” Yiannopoulos posted to the conservative social media platform Telegram on Wednesday.

“Now that I’ve had the chance to observe a range of women more thoroughly and systematically,” he continued, “I am certain I’d end up a sadistic serial-killing rapist if I had to live with one every day.”

He went on to confirm he’s an enthusiastic misogynist.

Of being with a woman, Yiannopoulos wrote: “How would I sell myself on the surreal injustice in the first place? ‘Hey, imagine something as expensive to maintain as a boat that you have to train like a dog but has the personality of a cat, and if you aren’t there to maintain discipline every day forever, with consistency, equanimity and tenderness, even though these creatures are violent and basically psychotic at least a few days a month, she will murder your baby in the womb and have sex with your brother, then cry on the doorstep about how it’s all your fault before inhaling ice cream for six months and putting on 30lbs she will never lose, and the last ten years of your life will be spent with a fatter, angrier approximation of the overbearing and shrewish mother who made you gay in the first place.’ Appreciate the offer, bro, but … imma pass?”

Journaling on social appears to be a big part of Yiannopoulos’ therapy program.

One alternative? A mail-order bride.

“Apparently a lot of ex-gay guys go the mail order route. It takes all the terror out of it, especially sexually. And the marriage begins as a mutual understanding from which trust, affection and eventually love can grow. Almost like getting an arranged marriage, which is the best and most successful kind. Crucially, there is very little risk of ending up with a bossy, spendy, sex-hungry alcoholic, which would be a catastrophe in every way.”

Yiannopoulos’ retreat from vaginal intercourse and the women who make it possible is a disappointing outcome following the heady days around his “ex-gay” announcement.

“In the end,” he told the New York Post at the time, “my aspiration would be to take it all the way.”

Soon after claiming to give up the d, the former Breitbart editor also revealed he was launching a “reparative therapy” clinic in Florida, “to help other people go through the same journey that I’m on myself.” Conversion therapy is a widely debunked practice banned in many states and municipalities and condemned by medical associations.

While there’s no evidence Yiannopoulos made good on the promised clinic, one intrepid Milo-stan did the work for him.

In a perfectly realized social media one-two punch, the Sodomy Clock account on Twitter and the associated Milo Center website drag the man-boy love advocate with glee. The site exclaims “Conversion Therapy is Back” and promotes the center’s “Lindsay Graham Memorial Spa & Steam Rooms” (where you can “rejuvenate together”); a “Return to Nature” program featuring a chiseled instructor ready to help you recover with “a little protein and a lot of hate”; and a signature “Pence Pathway,” offering salvation from a disease that “wants you dead and your soul condemned to the pit.”

“What happens next,” write the site’s authors of Milo’s reparative therapies, “will shock you.™”