If Donald Trump thought Bob Woodward and Michael Wolff’s books were infuriating, wait until he gets a copy of Stormy Daniels’ tell-all about her one night stand with the President.
While Trump first denied having an affair or paying Daniels, as information has dribbled out from investigators and the administration, it’s become clear that he did both. Now free from her confidentiality agreement, Daniels is telling the world all about her night from hell.
And Trump, who infamously boasted about his penis size during presidential primary debates, will not be happy that Daniels says he’s a liar in that regard as well. She described the President’s dick as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”
“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes in an advance copy obtained by The Guardian. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool… I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”
“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
She also says that when she saw him on television over the next decade, it didn’t bring back warm fuzzies.
“‘I had sex with that’, I’d say to myself. Eech.”
Daniels also claims that Trump invited her to be a contestant on his show The Apprentice and offered to rig the competition so that she won.