Infowar‘s Alex Jones is best known for his kooky conspiracy theories and loony political commentary, but you reimagine his nonsense as a Bon Iver song it gets as tolerable as folk music. (In other words, you’ll still want to cut your ears off, but not with as much rage.)
Lyrics include:
I’ve had enough of these people.
They’re a bunch of murdering Christian scum that run giant death factories, keeping babies alive and selling their body parts.
What more do you need to know about these people?
I go out and face these scum.
They literally crawl out from under rocks.
They have green-looking skin and they run around screaming ‘We love Satan. We want to eat babies.'”
Somewhere out there, Jones is thinking, “If only the babies weren’t in danger from the green-skinned people who want to eat them, I coulda been a folk singer!”
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