Late-night hosts roast George Santos over his supposedly “lavish” spending

Rep. George Santos (R-NY) provided plenty of fodder for late-night hosts Thursday after the release of the House Ethics Committee’s report showing he spent campaign funds on personal expenses like Botox treatments, vacations, and luxury goods during his 2022 campaign.

Seth Meyers, Leslie Jones, and Stephen Colbert all skewered the disgraced first-term congressman, while Jimmy Kimmel managed to top his recent team-up with Trixie Mattel to troll Ted Cruz.

Related:

George Santos busted spending campaign funds on Hermès, Sephora, OnlyFans & Botox

He said he never heard of OnlyFans earlier this year. So of course the opposite was true.

Actor Nelson Franklin returned to Jimmy Kimmel Live Thursday night to play Santos in another extended sketch that found the host attempting to question Santos about the report as he fled a spa wearing a fur stole and a crown after stabbing an esthetician, stealing a cash register, paying a hitman to kneecap Kimmel, and eventually escaped in a Delorean.

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“If there are any fans of stupidity and corruption out there, you have joined us on the right night,” Colbert said at the top of last night’s episode of The Late Show. “Today we got the long-awaited House ethics report on New York congressman and slug under a rock you just turned over George Santos.”

Quoting from the report, Colbert noted that the committee said that Santos is “beneath the dignity of the office, and has brought severe discredit upon the House.”

“That is not easy to do. That is — that’s quite an accomplishment,” the host joked. “That is a high chalk mark, because these days, the dignity of the House is slightly below a Golden Corral that just ran out of steak.

Colbert went on to list the “juicy” details in the report, including the committee’s allegations that Santos spent thousands in campaign contributions on lavish trips, designer goods, and “smaller purchases at OnlyFans.”

“Oh. Smaller purchases at OnlyFans. So, he was being prudent with his donors’ money.”

The Late Show audience cheered at the news that Santos had announced Thursday that he would not be seeking reelection. “I know, I’m so happy too. Thank god I won’t have endless content for my show anymore,” Colbert joked. “I’m sure it’ll be ok, because The Late Show can confirm that Santos has endorsed a new candidate for 2024: Kitara Ravache.”

On NBC’s Late Night, Meyers kicked off his “A Closer Look” segment with the Santos news.

“Before we get to all the other Republican numbskulls who are currently facing legal trouble, let’s begin with the numbest skull,” he said before rolling a clip in which a reporter quoted the report’s description of Santo’s trip to Atlantic City as “lavish.”

“I gotta say, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard a trip to Atlantic City described as lavish. Drunk, terrifying, or grounds for divorce — but never lavish,” Meyers joked.

“Botox, Atlantic City, OnlyFans, and designer goods. Is he a congressman or a lesser Kardashian? He’s got the shopping list of a 98-year-old oil tycoon’s 20-year-old wife,” the host added. “Even his fellow Republicans are calling for his expulsion, including the few who stuck by him before this report. He alienated his only fans by spending money on OnlyFans.”

Meyer’s also mocked reporters for describing the report as “shocking.”

“Is it? It’s damning and brazen. Is it shocking? He pretended he was a star volleyball player at Baruch College and wore a stollen scarf to a Stop the Steal rally. Anything you do or say after that is no longer shocking.”

On The Daily Show, guest hosts Leslie Jones and Jordan Klepper faked shock and disbelief at the report’s scandalous findings.

“Our George?” Jones exclaimed.

“No! Our star volleyball player?” Klepper added.

Like Meyers, Jones also mocked the report’s description of Santos’s trip to Atlantic City. “How do you spend money on lavish trips to Atlantic City? Have you been to Atlantic City? A lavish trip there just means that you don’t go home with bed bugs,” she joked.

“Why is he spending money on Botox,” Klepper asked. “He’s the youngest member of Congress by a thousand years, and you don’t get Botox. Just stand next to Mitch McConnell.”

While the House Ethics Committee’s report did not recommend any formal punishment, it said that Santos deserved “public condemnation,” and the committee has reportedly referred the matter to the Justice Department for further investigation.

Santos already faces a total of 23 federal charges of fraud and financial crimes related to his 2022 campaign. Last month, he pleaded not guilty to all charges, and a trial date has been set for September 2024.