Bumble dating app’s anti-celibacy campaign offends asexuals and others

Bumble blew it.

The one-time world’s most popular dating app has been in turmoil for the past year as fickle users dropped the women-first site and the stock price plunged.

Related:

Bumble allegedly wouldn’t let a non-binary person message a woman first

Women “make the first move” on the app. The rule appears to apply to non-binary people and not just men.

New management embarked on a revamp, first losing the very feature that made Bumble so popular: only women could initiate a conversation with another user. Women can still opt to make the first move by initiating the chat, or by selecting an Opening Move which prompts people to respond to a question that can only be seen following a match. 

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Nonetheless the original trademark distinction brought a sense of safety and empowerment for women tired of being creeped on by men trolling for dates. (Though it also prevented nonbinary people from messaging first, now, in same-gender and nonbinary connections, either person can make the first move, or either person can set and respond to an Opening Move.)

Then Bumble knocked the second leg of their once-successful strategy out from under the female-forward site: respecting the choices women make.

In a massive ad campaign fail, Bumble told women: celibacy sucks.

“Thou shalt not give up on dating and become a nun,” and “You know full well a vow of celibacy is not the answer,” were just two of the ill-conceived billboard ads that Bumble bumbled.

Now asexuals and every other woman for whom celibacy is a choice — and the women and men and gender-fluid people who respect them — are fleeing the app following the epic branding misfire.

“To our beloved Bumble community,” a rank apologia from the app began, “we made a mistake.”

The treacly, committee-written regret cited the asexual community, “for whom celibacy can have particular meaning and importance, which should not be diminished”; women “for whom celibacy is the only answer when reproductive rights are continuously restricted”; and others “for whom celibacy is a choice, one that we respect” as communities they heard from after unleashing the offensive celibacy assault.

“We are also aware that for many, celibacy may be brought on by harm or trauma,” Bumble blurted way too late.

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“Instead of bringing joy and humor” with the too clever-by-half campaign, “we unintentionally did the opposite.”

Instagram commenters’ reaction to Bumble’s apology was withering.

“Women are tired of the harassment, gaslighting, abuse, and trauma we experience at the hands of men. Shaming us back into engaging with them will not work. It’s appalling that this company is managed by women who clearly have not read the room,” one commenter wrote.

“Run an ad campaign telling men how to write better bios, take better photos, how to actually hold a conversation and string a basic sentence together and not randomly bring up sex in the middle of a normal conversation. Then men will have more success on your app . This isn’t women’s problems to fix,” another commenter wrote.

“This is entirely performative,” yet another wrote.

“We. Are. Exhausted. And being celibate is easier than dealing with the dumpster fire that is trying to date as a straight woman – tbh, regardless of age,” a fourth commented. “This ad campaign was in such poor taste, especially because they’re supposed to be advocating for women and not exploiting them to lower their standard for the atrocious hookup culture.”

“‘Men, be better.’ There, fixed it for you,” yet another person replied.

The company’s stock price has dropped $2.69 in value over the past six months. While that drop may sound small, it represents potentially hundreds of thousands in lost value for stockholders overall.

In the past, Bumble partnered with the LGBTQ+ watchdog organization GLAAD to create its gender options. The app currently allows nonbinary users 21 options for describing their gender identities, including agender, bigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, gender questioning, neutrois, nonbinary man, nonbinary woman, pangender, polygender, transmasculine, transfeminine, two-spirit, as well as a “tell us if we’re missing something” option where users can tell the app’s administrators about a different identity that they would like to see included in the list.

Additionally, the app gives male and female-identified people five gender identities to choose from. Users can also select the gender of the people they’d like to match with.

Editor’s note: This article has been updated to better explain some of Bumble’s features.

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