The importance of bursting bubbles & seeing things differently

In today’s fractured and highly polarized society, it’s easy to become trapped in your own bubble. We surround ourselves with people who think like us, act like us, have the same politics, and speak the same language. 

A year ago, I moved from America to Mexico City; it’s a well-to-do area by Mexican standards, near the gayborhood and on the outskirts of a wealthier neighborhood popular with ex-pats and the upper class. In D.C., I would not be able to afford to rent the apartment I have here.

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English isn’t commonly spoken outside tourist areas and ex-pat enclaves — especially in my neighborhood. You hear Spanish from passing strangers on the streets and use it in stores or restaurants. It’s a completely different culture, and it took some time to adjust to the new surroundings, but by this point, I’ve adjusted and settled in. 

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My boyfriend, Uriel, is a local and grew up in a lower-class area. By his standards, this is almost luxurious, and it took him a while to adjust to some of the things I take for granted. For example, the building is fitted for natural gas instead of the more common LP gas found in most houses; to save fuel, many Mexicans don’t have hot water in the kitchen. 

Last month, we had the opportunity to visit Cabo San Lucas and stay at the Corazón Cabo Resort and Spa. The day we arrived was his birthday, and the culture change was striking from the moment we stepped out of the Uber. We’d entered another bubble. Despite being in Mexico, as a tourist destination, the resort catered to gringos.

“Do you need help with your bags?” the attendant questioned in perfect English as we stepped out. “Are you checking in?” the front desk worker asked. The woman beside us was German, and the elderly couple behind us was American. The man talking to the concierge was getting his answers in English.

Suddenly, Spanish was no longer Uriel’s background language. “Buenos tardes” and “Hola” were not the common greetings when someone got on the elevator. It was “Good afternoon” and “Hello.” Waiters and tour guides asked, “English or Spanish?” His bubble had changed in the way that mine had when I moved to CDMX.

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A post shared by Tagalong with Uriel and Bil (@the.tagalongs)

A tray of mezcal cocktails waited in our room as a birthday gift for Uriel. The room overlooked both pools and had a stunning view of the ocean. Staff had prepared an intimate sunset dinner at Rooftop 360, their open-air bar at the top of one of the towers, and presented a devil’s food cupcake with candles after the meal.

As part of his birthday celebration, the resort had also arranged for us to go “snuba diving,” a mix of snorkeling and scuba that freed divers from carrying a tank in exchange for one kept on a raft above the site, to get an up-close view of the many multicolored and beautiful fish. A candlelight concert completed the itinerary. 

Living near Zona Rosa (Mexico City’s gayborhood) and having come from Washington D.C., I’m accustomed to seeing gay and lesbian couples holding hands and queer folks on almost every block. The resort, on the other hand, was filled with families and opposite-sex couples. That’s not to say we didn’t see community members, including an adorable (and talkative) elderly gay couple from Minnesota who sat by the pool all day soaking up the sun. Groups of gays roamed in packs on the beach.

But in a resort packed with seemingly straight people, no one made a peep about the gay couple. When we staged a photo at the infinity pool, trying to get the right shot, a woman quickly offered to take photos. Unprompted, the snuba instructor asked if we were a couple before we set out on the boat.

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A post shared by Bil Browning (@bilerico)

One of the perks of living in another country is that I can leave American politics behind. One of the realities of working for a queer publication is that it’s still a regular part of my workday. In Cabo, there was no MAGA v. Biden dynamics, no religious right v. queer community. It was just a group of people there to have fun, to lounge by a pool, swim in the ocean, or stroll the beach. 

The bubbles we’d built around ourselves were washed away on the tide. Instead, we glided between politics, orientations, genders, languages, and ethnicities, gently popping the exteriors to allow ourselves to experience something bigger. 

Our normalities can both protect and limit us. Our bubbles can serve as a shield and a prison. While it’s comfortable to stay inside our self-defined boundaries, surrounding ourselves with people who are like us politically, culturally, and socially, sometimes breaking through can be beneficial.

It took some adjustment for me to hear Spanish replace English as the dominant language and for Uriel to get used to the exact opposite, but it can be enjoyable and exciting once you become comfortable with the difference. The birthday trip to Corazón Cabo was even more special because we could step outside our everyday lives – from the luxurious surroundings to the background noise of happy people enjoying themselves. And that’s precisely what we did.

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A post shared by Corazón Cabo Resort & Spa (@corazoncabo)