Life

Humpback whales spotted having gay sex & the internet has jokes

It was the first time humpbacks have been seen having sex.
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humpback whale
Photo: Shutterstock

Move over, bears! Humpback whales have never been observed having sex, but two randy males were filmed having a gay old time off the coast of Hawaii.

Unlike Grindr users, the gentle giants are rarely seen with their junk out, despite being every size queen’s dream. The beasts’ penises can reach 10 feet in length.

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A just-released research paper documents the encounter between the two males and notes that the two circled a boat off the coast before diving down a few meters below the surface to get it on. Lyle Krannichfeld and Brandi Romano, who are scientists and not just voyeurs, took photos of the indiscreet pair.

Same-sex behaviors in animals have been documented early in human history. Aristotle (384–322 BC) observed it in pigeons, partridges, and quails; the Egyptian writer Horapollo (circa 4 AD) observed it in partridges; and animal researchers throughout history have observed such behaviors in many other animals as well.

However, scientists don’t call animals “gay,” “lesbian,” “bisexual,” or “queer” because the word connotes a human sexual orientation with strong cultural and political implications that are irrelevant to non-human species.

The internet, however, has no such qualms. After the study was released, Twitter did what it does best.

“I’m fine with the gay humpback whales as long as they don’t try any of that gay s**t on me!” one user quipped.

“The wokes are turning the whales gay,” another person laughed.

“Fabulous humpback whales are taking the term ‘humping’ to a whole new level,” a third joked. “Who knew the depths of the ocean could be so steamy?”

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