Clueless doctor tells lesbian couple to sleep with a man if they want a baby

A U.K. lesbian couple says they were told by their doctor to sleep with a man if they want to have a baby.

Elissa and Kaylee Hillier told the Independent that their excitement over their appointment with a general practitioner to discuss fertility options quickly turned to devastation as he asked them, “You do know that you need a man to have a baby?” He then said, “You do know that it needs to be human sperm?”

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One gay male couple’s insurance company denied them coverage since. technically. they could successfully conceive with women.

“Then he just stared at us for a bit and was like, ‘Why don’t you just go out and find a man to sleep with?’” Elissa explained.

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The couple said it was clear the doctor genuinely did not understand how a lesbian couple could have a baby and that he suggested one of them sleep with a man “a number of times.”

Unsurprisingly, they left the appointment “scared, disappointed, and upset.”

“We went in really excited, thinking this was the start of our journey and that we were going to be having a baby,” said Elissa. “When we left, we just sat in the car in silence and were like, ‘Did that actually just happen?’”

While the doctor did say he could put them on a three-year waiting list for a fertility appointment with the National Health Service (NHS), the couple opted to seek private services that would move more quickly.

Ultimately, they found a fertility clinic in Denmark that was more than welcoming to same-sex couples. After several unsuccessful attempts at intrauterine insemination (IUI) – a process in which sperm is directly injected into the uterus – the couple is now undergoing in-vitro fertilization (IVF), in which a fertilized embryo is implanted into the uterus, with a clinic in the U.K.

Having already spent £15,000 – the equivalent of about $19,000 – the couple has now launched a GoFundMe campaign for help with the rest of their fertility expenses. The campaign explains that NHS will not help with funding due to the fact that they’re a same-sex couple.

“We have had to pay out of pocket for our procedures and treatments, and while we have been helped greatly by my parents, we are over £15,000 down with no baby to show for it and about to throw more money at IVF.”

“Each attempt has been more medicated than the last,” the fundraiser added, “causing an intense amount of stress on my (Ellie) body and on both of us mentally. Despite this, we now both have multiple jobs as each round has set us and my family back thousands of £ at a time in hopes of funding further treatments.”

“All we want is to start our family. We want to be mummies to our own baby… Crowdfunding is the only ‘official’ option we’ve had suggested to us, and while we hate to ask for money, we’re not sure what else to do.”

The couple has started a podcast about their fertility journey called No Moremen, which also discusses navigating life as a lesbian couple in which one of the is Mormon and the other is not. There is only one episode out so far, with the title “WE DON’T HATE MEN!”