Late night hosts ripped George Santos to shreds this week

After federal prosecutors in Brooklyn issued an updated indictment with ten new criminal charges against out Rep. George Santos (R-NY) on Tuesday, late-night hosts spent the remainder of the week ripping the out congressman to shreds.

On Wednesday night’s episode of The Late Show, host Stephen Colbert reminded viewers—or at least those who don’t read LGBTQ Nation—who Santos is, describing him as “the lying-est liar lying in Congress.”

Related:

George Santos is trying to blackmail Republicans into keeping him in Congress

Republicans introduced a resolution to expel him. He’s threatening to ruin their careers.

“The bi**h is back for a squeakquel and I am here for it,” Colbert said of the new charges against Santos. “The latest round of charges brings the total number of counts against him to 23. Congratulations, George, 68 more and you can run for president,” the host said, referencing the 91 felony charges former President Donald Trump faces.

Never Miss a Beat

Subscribe to our newsletter to stay ahead of the latest LGBTQ+ political news and insights.

Daily

Weekly

Good News

Colbert also noted that prosecutors have accused Santos of allegedly stealing donors’ identities. “Ok, that’s just greedy, George! You already have so many identities,” Colbert joked, listing off Santos’s many known aliases.

Prosecutors also allege that Santos ran up thousands of dollars in fraudulent charges on donors’ credit cards. “People really should have been tipped off by his slogan: ‘Santos 2022! That’s my pin number, what’s yours?’” Colbert quipped.

Seth Meyers also took on “Taylor Swift’s real boyfriend” Santos on Wednesday’s edition of Late Night.

“He’s less like a member of Congress and more like a telemarketer scam your grandpa would fall for,” Meyers joked. “I’m just waiting for the day you watch the news and prosecutors say Santos illegally charged donors’ credit cards, stole their identities, and refused to pick up his dog’s poop, and also it wasn’t his dog, it was a cat dressed as a dog which he used to pretend he was blind to get preferential seating on an airplane which he paid for using fake bills that he printed at a Kinko’s, a Kinkos which he broke into at night using a golf club he claimed was a gift from Tiger Woods but which in fact he stole from a child at a putt-putt course.”

Meyers then showed a clip of Santos attempting to avoid questions from reporters on Tuesday, claiming he didn’t have access to his phone while apparently taking a call on his phone. “There’s no way that’s a real phone call,” Meyers said. “The screen does look like a phone call, but when you zoom into it, it says ‘fake call to ignore reporters.”

“Nothing sums up George Santos more than claiming he didn’t have access to his phone while talking on his phone,” Meyers added. “Unless that’s not his phone and he stole it from someone’s grandpa.”

On Jimmy Kimmel Live, the host also took shots at Santos’s attempts to dodge reporters, showing footage of the congressman slamming his office door in reporters’ faces. “He should get used to being in a confined space, because the prison walls are closing in,” Kimmel said, before segueing to an extended sketch featuring an actor portraying Santos as he flees both the host’s questioning and the police.

The hosts were back to slamming Santos on Thursday after the congressman tweeted on Wednesday night that after not hearing from Rep. Steve Scalise (R), he’d decided to cast his vote for anyone but the Louisiana congressman to become the next speaker of the House. (Scalise has since dropped out of the race.)

“Steve Scalise is even getting the cold shoulder from New York Representative and airbrushed American George Santos,” Colbert said on last night’s episode of his show.

Colbert also noted that a group of New York Republicans have filed a resolution to expel Santos from the House. “That may be exciting to you,” Colbert joked, “but if the Republicans kick him out, they will lose the entire Santos caucus: George Santos, Anthony Devolder, Kitara Ravache, Batman, and Admiral Ludwig von Pseudonym.”

The host also mocked Santos for echoing Mister T’s catchphrase “I pity the fools” in his response to the attempt to oust him. “First identities now you’re stealing catchphrases?”

“Oh my stars!” Kimmel said on his show Thursday night. “It must be very frustrating for George Santos sitting by the phone waiting to hear from Scalise. You know, they only give you one call in prison.”

Kimmel added that Santos has now thrown his support behind far-right Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) in the speaker race. “Santos likes Jordan because when Jim Jordan sees a crime, he keeps his mouth shut.”