When the Christian Reformed Church synod, a gathering of church officials and delegates, passed a resolution condemning gays and lesbians and requiring them to confess it as a sin as well as requiring members to oppose same-sex marriages to remain a member, one pastor gave a short impassioned speech before walking out.
Delegate Dave Struyk, from Grand Rapids, Michigan, announced to the group that he was leaving to protest “on behalf of the pain that was caused to many LGBTQ+ people.” And one of those people was his son.
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Struyk had joined delegates from other congregations to delay a church resolution that is deeply unpopular with younger members and actively condemns LGBTQ+ members. The dramatic change in church policy has been protested in Canada and the United States.
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“If you actually listen to so many of the kids like I have listened, you will hear that we need time and space to work this out in a gracious way,” delegate Heidi Sytsema told the group.
But Struyk’s plea was different. He said his position on LGBTQ+ people had changed after his son came out 12 years ago. As the church debated, he saw his son’s post on social media that accused his lifelong church of a “complete lack of empathy.”
His son, Ryan Struyk, had watched the debate on a live stream and posted his thoughts online after the debate.
“I cried the whole Uber home… I hope the delegates who go home tonight to their spouses pause for a moment about their decision that precludes me – by no choice of my own – from going home to mine. I hope you are much, much kinder to your own LGBTQ children in your own families than you were to me,” he posted.
The next day, the elder Struyk walked to the podium and said, “Because of the message we sent to many LGBTQ+ people—including my son—I will be leaving synod in protest” and, with that, he walked out the door.
Before he could leave, however, many other delegates stood up to embrace him and offer encouragement. Enough people agreed with him, they formed a line to give him a hug.
“I’m not doing this for attention,” Dave Struyk told the church newspaper, The Banner, on his way out. “What’s hard is the sense that a group at synod wasn’t really open to deliberation and, unfortunately, they had the majority. I wanted to be a voice for the voiceless. Nobody from the LGBTQ community has had the opportunity to express their reaction to what Synod decided.”
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