In her opening monologue, Ellen explained why she hates Valentine’s Day.
“I know what you’re thinking: Ellen, you’re never going to get a man that way,” she said.
Ellen started her complaints about Valentine’s Day with how hard it is to eat out that day. You can get a reservation, “you just have to decide if you want to eat at 3:30 or 11:15.”
While she insisted that she loves “overpriced flowers and tiny little hearts that taste like chalk,” she also said that she had already hired Kenny G to serenade her wife Portia de Rossi.
Valentine’s Day is usually portrayed as a very heterosexual holiday, and LGBTQ activists have used it for protests in the past, to show that love can come in different forms.
So maybe a lesbian complaining about Valentine’s Day on TV is just what America needs right now.