Are we gays really that slutty? The answer is yes, according to a British survey on gay sex.
Of a thousand gay men questioned in a UK survey on sex and their relationships, more than half — 52 percent — said they had been unfaithful.
Even more — 58 percent — said a partner had been unfaithful.
FS, the gay health and life magazine in the UK, said it surveyed almost 1,000 readers on extracurricular activities outside relationships.
How reliable is a magazine survey? For us Yanks of a certain age, any mention of “magazine sex survey,” and we remember chuckling at the sex surveys in Cosmopolitan magazine. But FS is affiliated with GMFA, the gay men’s health charity in Britain.
Still, we have our questions about this. First… Just how did respondents define infidelity? The roundup was comprehensive:
79 percent said anal sex qualified.
76 percent: blow job
74 percent: hand job
68 percent: breaking the rules of an open relationship
66 percent: kissing
62 percent: emotional intimacy
55 percent: using hook-up apps
43 percent: sharing sexual images
34 percent: sending private messages
18 percent: flirting
Just fewer than half of the men — 45 percent — said their partner had found out, and even more men — 61 percent — said they would break up with an unfaithful partner.
OK, then. On to our next question… So how many of these guys were in open relationships?
Thirty-five percent said they are or have been in an open relationship, and 35 percent said they haven’t, but would consider one.
A counselor at Terrence Higgins Trust, a British charity that provides HIV and sexual-health services, implied the survey results didn’t surprise him.
“I have come across a number of gay men that crave connection and deep intimacy but struggle with the vulnerability needed to create such a connection,” Tiago Brandao, the THT counselor said. “This leads them to look for intimacy and connection in all the wrong places.”
The survey then asked respondents about sexually transmitted diseases, and 26 percent said they’d gotten an STI from an unfaithful partner.
The survey’s STI scoreboard, for those who reported getting one from an unfaithful partner —
31 percent said they got gonorrhea.
29 percent: chlamydia
27 percent: crabs
12 percent: syphilis
10 percent: genital warts
9 percent: HIV
4 percent: herpes
3 percent: scabies
2 percent: shigella
1 percent: Hepatitis A/B/C
1 percent: HPV
In the FS story, Ian Howley, chief executive of the UK’s Health Equality and Rights Organisation, said gay men are making the same mistakes as others in regards to communication, trust and boundaries.
“There’s a huge issue of gay men not being able to talk to one another about what they want sexually.”
He said he’s met many gay couples perfect for each other, but sexually they don’t work, or the the sex fizzled out.
“Of course, sex is important for any relationship to work,” Howley said, “but you cannot and never will be able to meet the needs of someone 100 percent of the time.
“And we’re foolish to put that pressure on ourselves.”