Alex Jones shares the secret method of sizing up a man’s junk without seeing it

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Conspiracy theorist and crackpot Alex Jones is sharing the secret no gay man would want revealed – if it were true.

Following Trump’s nuclear dick measuring contest on Twitter with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, Americans were shamed once again as the President boasted about the size of his penis. This time around, Trump wasn’t playing the game with a fellow presidential primary candidate, who insinuated Trump’s small hands equaled a small penis, but a madman armed with the bomb.

Enter Jones and his tried-and-true method of sizing up a man’s junk without actually seeing it.

“Now the media went into conniption fits and the headlines from MSNBC are Trump’s sexual obsessions may destroy the earth. They’re the ones saying hey we got a bigger nuclear button than you, we got a bigger arsenal, more powerful, and it works,” Jones told his listeners. “Nothing to do with the media trying to say the president has small genitals.”

“And by the way he doesn’t even have small hands, and by the way that’s a cliche, and a wives’ tale, and not even true as well. Medical doctors will tell you it’s the feet size. But the point is — that it’s more comparable. And that’s not even an exact metric.”

Medical doctors? Just ask a homo, Jones. We’ll tell you how you can really tell if a man has a small package.

The number one way you can tell? He’ll have a superiority complex and get strangely defensive about the topic while finding ways to reference his penis at inappropriate times.

Watch Jones defend the size of Trump’s penis below.

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