Man changes name to ‘Bruce Jenner’ to save its ‘heterosexual roots’

Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner Derek de Koff

We know life is strange. But sometimes we underestimate how strange.

Case in point: The odd plight of this fellow, formerly a bodyguard for the Kardashian clan who was known to the world as Mark Behar. Not anymore.

In order to preserve the name’s “heterosexual roots” and “keep it alive,” he’s now legally changed his name to Bruce Jenner.

Jenner — that’s what he’s called now, you see — wants everyone to keep associating the name with all the Olympic medals Caitlyn Jenner won under that moniker.

Please note: the alleged Palm Beach actor does not want you to think those medals were won by Caitlyn Jenner. Or something.

“This name,” he explains, “once stood for America, and I just want to keep it alive.”

I’ve been seeing so many idols and athletes and icons die because of stupid stuff like drugs, die because of age … We’re losing icons. Were losing names. We’re losing people faster than we ever have.”

Jenner — because again, that’s his name now — was featured on an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians in a Season Four episode. Perhaps you remember him. Perhaps not.

In that episode, he apparently fought against Caitlyn Jenner for a charity boxing match.

Bruce Jenner went on: “I am not anti-gay and I have no problem with him changing his sex,” says Bruce Jenner 2. “But the way he did it, in my mind it was not proper. It was all for hype.”

Was it?

An utterly strange and offensive January 3rd post featured on the Actor/Celebrity Bodyguard & Personal Protection Specialist’s Facebook page — which is a thing — shows Caitlyn sobbing next to the words ‘Bill Crosby Raped Me’.

Jenner also posts links to a fabricated news story that suggests Caitlyn “asks everyone to call her Bruce again.”

This new Bruce Jenner even has representation: TransMedia Group, by Tom Madden.

According to a statement, Madden says:

We’re representing Mark who is now legally Bruce so the famous Bruce Jenner name will return to its heterosexual roots where our client believes it belongs instead of hanging around out with the likes of the Kardashians and getting into car accidents as Caitlyn.”

The New Bruce Jenner says: “If Caitlyn ever wants to be called Bruce again, he’s a day late, a dollar short. It’s my name now.”

So there.

h/t: Pink News

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