“Imagine taking your 6-year-old to London zoo and them asking you which penguins are gay.” THE HORROR.

Zookeepers in New Zealand say they just knew these two elderly penguins would make great foster parents.

I think that the one constant in my life these days is knowing that no matter what an LGBTQ person does, in any fashion, you can be certain that a member of corporate Christianity will find a way to make it as demonic, sinful, and dehumanizing as possible.

Zoo keepers in Toronto are planning to separate a pair of inseparable, and — according to some zoo staffers — “gay” male penguins so that they can be paired with females for breeding.

The pint-sized duo’s plan to become parents was foiled when they stole from a pair of female penguins.

What does a young gay couple do when there’s no penguin egg to adopt?

“They just do what they do. No one’s judging.”

The same-sex couples have figured out how to have children, too.

While the two lovebirds can’t lay eggs, the male humboldt penguins sit on a rock each year to “incubate” their “egg.”

One of the penguins laid the egg, but no one saw them mating with a male. How did it get fertilized?