Election 2024

MAGA marketers are now selling “anti-woke water” to kids

MAGA marketers are now selling “anti-woke water” to kids

To the litany of dumb anti-woke money-making ideas directed at MAGA followers always eager to own the libs, add another that turned up at the recent Turning Point USA convention in Detroit — it’s called Freedom 20 water (pronounced “Freedom 2-0”).

It is literally just water branded to appeal to right-wingers… and it’s being sold to kids.

“It’s not just refreshing, it’s rebellious, and it’s unapologetic to drink this in public,” founder Elizabeth White said in ad played for the conference, whose lead organizer sympathizes with white nationalists.

President Donald Trump delivered the conference’s opening address on Saturday to the hall filled with a budding demographic of young Republicans.

Just like when “Freedom Fries” were so named back in 2003 to own the French for not cooperating in the invasion of Iraq — which was deadly and had nothing to do with 9/11 — Freedom 20 water is meant to make a statement for the imbiber about “Freedom!” — and to line the pockets of its creator by charging four times as much as any other water available for sale.

White told the New York Post that she came up with the idea of gouging impressionable future authoritarians while sitting on her couch in South Florida.

“I was watching the Republican debate, and a light went on in my head,” White said.

“They cut to a commercial and I saw so many people drinking water. But the water being consumed had no connection to the people drinking it,” she continued. “Kevin McCarthy was drinking Dasani — which is left, right, and center. If he drank Freedom, I think he would still be Speaker of the House.”

The artwork for Freedom 20 water describes it as “The unapologetic water” — which water requires an apology was left unsaid). The slogan “Speak your thirst, Protect the First” are shot through with smoking bullet holes.

Exactly what the First Amendment and shooting up your own ad copy has to do with free speech was also left unsaid — unless the MAGA water carrier was mixing up the First Amendment with the Second. But whatever, right? They’re just amendments. The declaration of freedom is what counts.

Another ad labels the MAGA H2O, “Water for Deplorables,” with a pic of a thin-lipped Hillary Clinton glaring.

Freedom 20 water springs from a tradition of products hawked to MAGA acolytes slave to Trump that mock political and social convention, show their support for the convicted former president, and that make him and political parasites like White lots of money — maybe.

That Freedom 20 ad earned exactly zero applause when it was played for the MAGA faithful 2.0.

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