Commentary

Idaho bar celebrates “Heterosexual Awesomeness Month” with free beer for straight men

Idaho bar celebrates “Heterosexual Awesomeness Month” with free beer for straight men
Photo: Shutterstock

“An all-male Monday sounds pretty gay to me.”

The above comment was one of many reacting to an announcement from the Old State Saloon in Boise, Idaho — a new tavern in the historic Eagle Drug Store building — which inaugurated June as “Heterosexual Awesomeness Month” and offered free beer for straight men every Monday until July.

Cowboy fetishists are swooning.

The bar’s new owner Mark Fitzpatrick, a South California transplant who bought the bar in 2023, describes himself as “a Christian, conservative, Constitution supporter, retired police officer, and family man.”

He might add “promotions wizard” to that list, as he’s conjured several provocative events at the State Street watering hole since rebranding it for the far-right.

Events the conservative carpetbagger is hawking include “Truth seeker” nights, “Conspiracy Theory Trivia” with an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle as a prize, “Open Carry Coffee” mornings with holstered handguns, and “Worship Nights” along with Bible study groups and a “Christian Singles Mingle” mixer.

A “Nefarious Vaccine Agenda” event and an upcoming “NASA Lies and Flat Earth” presentation fill out the bar’s way-out bill of fare.

As for his June promotion, did Fitzpatrick understand the homoerotic power of gathering so many confident men flaunting their sexuality in one place formerly called the Eagle?

“Come join us all month to celebrate heterosexuals,” the Christian family man proclaimed on social media, “for without them, none of us would be here! Each Monday will be Hetero Male Monday and any heterosexual male dressed like a heterosexual male will receive a free draft beer.”

One can almost picture central casting cowboys, sun-kissed farmers, gym bros high-fiving after the game — and owner Fitzpatrick dressed as a cop.

So many macho men in one place could lead to unintended consequences in Boise.

Fitzpatrick claims to have banned a couple of dozen hateful negative Facebook commenters for “using horrific words, expletives, using the name of the Lord in vain, etc,” but it’s hard to tell one heterosexual man’s hate from another’s unbridled excitement.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever seen!” one commenter said while probably color-blocking his outfit into complimentary hues.

As for Fitzpatrick, the “Constitution supporter” — which sounds like something Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh might wear to Hetero Night — claims “We love our LGBTQ+ patrons!” but “won’t be changing our mind and give into the group of those who are responding with vitriol” to the bar’s celebration of all that is straight.

Like the grizzled early risers at the bar’s “Open Carry Coffee” mornings, Fitzpatrick’s Hetero Monday men will doubtless be asking over their free beers, “Who’s packing?”

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