Ne-Yo retracts apology for offensive comments about transgender kids

Hip-hop star and father of seven Ne-Yo has retracted an apology he made for his comments on a podcast with 1990s “video vixen” Gloria Velez. Velez, who drew the Grammy award-winning rapper into a discussion critical of parents who affirm their gender-questioning kids.

“When did it become a good idea to let a 5-year-old, let a 6-year-old, let a 12-year-old make a life-changing decision about their gender,” Ne-Yo asked on the podcast, released by Vlad-TV on Saturday.

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“Just another day of getting stronger out of spite.”

“I feel like parents have almost forgotten what the role of a parent is,” the 43-year-old rapper added.

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On Sunday, after a furtive attempt to explain his way out of the controversy in a since-removed Instagram post, the Grammy-award-winning artist apologized for his remarks that LGBTQ+ fans and allies called “insensitive and offensive.”

“After much reflection, I’d like to express my deepest apologies to anyone that I may have hurt with my comments on parenting and gender identity,” the statement posted to Twitter read. “I’ve always been an advocate for love and inclusivity in the LGBTQI+ community, so I understand how my comments could’ve been interpreted as insensitive and offensive.”

For her part, Velez wasted no time capitalizing on the controversial remarks, reposting a meme from conservative entertainment site Hollywood Unlocked which claimed the rapper “condemned” parents of gender-questioning youth.

“I stand with Ne-Yo” read a post-script added to Velez’s image of the site’s original, misleading message.

https://t.co/YdaSo0ZQJ8 pic.twitter.com/E2JcpiXZ4b

— Gloria Velez (@GloriaVelez) August 6, 2023

Velez made a name for herself in the late 1990s as a so-called “video vixen” with appearances alongside some of rap and R&B’s biggest names in a string of high-profile music videos, including JAY-Z’s “Big Pimpin,” DMX’s “What They Really Want,” Sisqo’s “Thong Song,” and Ja Rule’s “Holla Holla.”   

On the podcast published Saturday, Velez drew Ne-Yo into a discussion about gender after he asserted that he has “no problem” with the LGBTQ+ community. “Love who you love. Do what you do,” the seven-time dad said, looking past the cameras on set to make his point.

“I just personally come from an era where a man was a man and a woman was a woman. There was two genders, and that’s just how I rocked,” he said.

“You could identify as a goldfish if you feel like, I don’t care. That ain’t my business,” he added. “It becomes my business when you try to make me play the game with you. I’m not gonna call you a goldfish. But if you wanna be a goldfish, you go be a goldfish.”

“Amen,” said Velez, nodding encouragement. “Well said.”

“We live in a weird time,” Ne-Yo added.

“We do,” Velez agreed.

After touching on cancel culture and trigger words, Velez complained, “We gotta walk on eggshells. Well, that’s what they want us to do,” she added, looking to her guest for agreement.

“That’s what they want us to do,” Ne-Yo replied.

Who “they” are was left unsaid.

“I feel like parents have almost forgotten what the role of a parent is,” Ne-Yo lamented.

“Amen,” Velez said. “They’ve lost control.”

“If your little boy comes to you and says, ‘Daddy, I want to be a girl,’” Ne-Yo posited, “and you just let him rock with that? He’s 5.”

“And where did he get that from?” Velez goaded her guest.

“He can’t drive a car yet, but he can decide his sex?” Ne-Yo asked.

“And his sexual orientation,” added Velez. “And he can cut off his pee-pee.” (Gender affirming surgeries aren’t conducted on minors.)

“If you let this 5-year-old boy decide to eat candy all day, he’s gonna do that. Like, when did it become a good idea to let a 5-year-old, let a 6-year-old, let a 12-year-old make a life-changing decision?” the singer asked.

Ne-Yo then brought up a bill moving through the California legislature, AB 957, that would add a parent’s affirmation of their child’s gender identity to a list of factors determining the health and welfare of the child in contested custody cases.

“I don’t know if this is true,” Ne-Yo qualified, “but I heard a rumor that they either passed or are trying to pass a law in LA that states that if your child comes to you and asks to do some of these things and you say no, they can take your kid from you.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Velez nodded, looking past the cameras for confirmation. “Just passed in California.”

“That makes no sense,” Ne-Yo added correctly. But neither his characterization of the legislation nor Velez’s claim that it passed into law were true.

“They want us to have no control over our children,” Velez continued, taking the discussion further down the rabbit hole.

“And schools and hospitals and libaries [sic]. They just wanna manipulate us,” Ne-Yo said.

In his Twitter apology, the singer admitted he was short on facts about parenting a gender-questioning child.

“Gender identity is nuanced and I can honestly admit that I plan to better educate myself on the topic, so I can approach future conversations with more empathy,” Ne-Yo added. “At the end of the day, I lead with love and support everyone’s freedom of expression and pursuit of happiness.”

But exactly where the rapper has landed 48 hours after the controversy erupted is unclear.

A day after his “deepest” apology, the singer was taking incoming criticism from far-right types unimpressed with his humility.

“You caved in to the Gender Borg,” @proud_terf posted to the rapper’s Instagram.

“I’m just here to watch all the Biden gay’s meltdown,” @sneakerchampz badgered.

On Monday, a new Insta message delivered from the driver’s seat of Ne-Yo’s SUV threw the singer’s unqualified message of regret into reverse.

“Ok. This shit is getting out of hand. FROM THE HORSE’S MOUTH. I WILL NOT BE BULLIED INTO APOLOGIZING FOR HAVING AN OPINION. AGREEING TO DISAGREE IS NOT A DECLARATION OF WAR,” he said.

After a frustrated explanation of what an apology is and isn’t, Ne-Yo concluded, “Whatever. Y’all do y’all, imma do me and we can agree to disagree and coexist PEACEFULLY. LOVE IS THE ONLY TRUE POWER.

Conspicuously absent was any mention of the podcaster who provoked Ne-Yo’s ill-advised remarks.

“We totally went off topic,” Velez told Ne-Yo near the end of their interview, with a nod to producers off-camera. “But I love it.”