LGBTQ+ people are more likely to be victims of domestic abuse. Our support systems are failing them.

When Jem* became aware that her ex-partner was emotionally and physically abusing her, she was reluctant to report her to law enforcement.

A self-identified butch lesbian, Jem told LGBTQ Nation that she worried that since she was “physically bigger,” police would “see her as ‘the man’ in the relationship” who “couldn’t possibly be scared by her smaller, more feminine partner.” Her ex-partner even used this against her, allegedly saying “the police and courts would never believe” what Jem was going through. 

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Jem was eventually able to leave the relationship thanks to resources from UK-based LGBTQ+ anti-abuse charity Galop, but her story is far from unique. 

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At the beginning of Pride month, a study by Galop revealed a considerable lack of support for queer domestic abuse victims, with many who had experienced abuse from a partner or family member receiving no support from loved ones or dedicated domestic abuse services.

According to the study, an average of three in five LGBTQ+ victims received no professional help from support services, with over a third (38 percent) having no support from friends or family. 

One survivor explained: “I was living with my parents at the time. They would have found a way to blame me for it, so it was easier to keep it to myself.”

While the study reported on UK victims, experts and domestic violence shelters explained that the situation is similar in the US.

Dr. Adam Messinger, LGBTQ+ domestic abuse expert and associate professor of justice studies at Northeastern Illinois University, told LGBTQ Nation that LGBTQ+ survivors may endured unique controlling tactics – such as threats of being outed – which could make accessing support more difficult.

“Survivors of domestic abuse in general face a number of challenges in seeking help, ranging from doubts about whether to leave the abuser, to fears of retribution by the abuser, concerns of not being believed, and more,” said Dr. Messinger, who has published two books on domestic abuse within the LGBTQ+ community, including LGBTQ Intimate Partner Violence: Lessons for Policy, Practice, and Research. 

He added that seeking help could be complicated for queer victims due to a litany of factors, including the fear of “outing”, as well as a “narrower range of friends and family to turn to” and concerns of discrimination in local domestic violence services.  

“Not all of these fears will be realized for all LGBTQ+ survivors, and the risk of facing barriers to help does not mean that help-seeking should be avoided – but this does highlight the need to reduce barriers to reaching safety and care for all survivors,” he explained. 

Discrimination in support services

According to the DC Volunteer Lawyers Project, around 44 percent of lesbian and 61 percent of bisexual women have experienced forms of physical domestic violence by an intimate partner, compared to 35 percent of straight women in the US.

Cases of intimate partner violence (IPV) were reported by around 26 percent of gay men and 37 percent of bisexual men, compared to 29 percent of straight men. Within the trans community, rates of IPV reportedly range from 31 to 50 percent. 

Since the pandemic, those numbers have only gotten worse, with a report from the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) finding that rates of domestic violence within queer relationships rose during lockdown. 77 percent of LGBTQ+ people who have experienced IPV since the onset of Covid-19 claim the pandemic increased the duration and frequency of such violence, compared to 68 percent of the general population. 

HRC’s report explained that along with these higher rates of abuse, actually accessing support is often more fraught for LGBTQ+ victims, as many queer victims had previously been denied services because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Just as in Jem’s case, LGBTQ+ victims can also be reluctant to report domestic violence to law enforcement. A 2015 report from the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) found that one in four LGBTQ+ survivors claimed police were “indifferent or hostile” towards them. 

The Department of Justice (DOJ) has admitted to this problem, releasing a report in 2015 that revealed a gender bias in how police respond to domestic abuse claims, which can result in underreporting cases of IPV, or in some cases result in wrongful arrest of victims instead of their alleged abusers.

“Discrimination may be based on explicit stereotypes about women or LGBT individuals,” the DOJ report details. “For example, if an officer believes a sexual assault to be less severe… based on stereotypical assumptions about a victim who is a gay man or lesbian woman assaulted by his or her partner.”

“An officer’s unconscious bias towards these groups can undermine an effective response to sexual assault and domestic violence incidents.”

What can be done?

While this data looks harrowing, programs being implemented across the U.S. mean that the outlook for queer domestic violence victims is actually looking optimistic in some states.

In April, the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence launched a one-year state-run pilot called the LGBTQI+ Endorsement Program to help “reduce the barriers that LGBTQ survivors of gender-based violence face when seeking safety.” 

The voluntary initiative encourages domestic violence services in the state to become certified as “LGBTQ+ affirming,” making them accessible for queer survivors, and more knowledgeable about the community and the barriers they may face in seeking help. 

The Los Angeles LGBT Center launched the National LGBTQ Institute on Intimate Partner Violence in 2022 to help provide LGBTQ-specific training for existing domestic violence services.

“We want to ensure that LGBTQ+ survivors will have increased access and receive better, more appropriate LGBTQ+ culturally responsive services,” Terra Russell-Slavin, chief impact officer of the LA LGBT Center, told KCRW radio last year.

Russell-Slavin added that resources like this are critical in order to prevent queer victims from feeling they have to return to an abusive situation. “What we hear is that when someone reaches out for services… if the response at all feels hostile or they [feel] they’re being judged, it makes it just so much more difficult to leave. Sometimes they’re not even eligible for the services.”

“This can mean going back to their abusive partner who has told them that no one’s going to provide support, [and] that they’re not going to be taken seriously.”

Despite these programs making leaps in providing support, they may not go far enough for those living outside of cities. A 2011 report found that across the US, rural domestic violence victims have to travel an average of three times further than urban victims to access shelters or resources.

Dr. Messinger added that alongside LGBTQ+ resources and shelters, one of the most important steps governments can take to protect survivors is to strengthen human rights protections, explaining that discrimination in employment and housing could “add jet fuel to an abuser’s threats to ‘out’ an LGBTQ+ survivor to their employer, landlord, or community.”

No victim left behind

Leni Morris, CEO of Galop, explained that until all LGBTQ+ victims can access quality domestic violence aid tailored to their needs, they will continue to feel “let down” when it comes to reaching for help. 

“Galop has been working with LGBT+ victims of domestic abuse for years, and what we see over and over again is that LGBT+ victims and survivors of domestic abuse are being let down by the systems that are meant to support them,” Morris told LGBTQ Nation. 

“Often, those LGBT+ victims of abuse who do try to access mainstream support will have received a bad response or been turned away entirely because those services just don’t understand LGBT+ identities or relationships. 

“We also know that trans and non-binary survivors were more likely to avoid seeking support altogether because of how they might be treated, and that non-LGBT+ services are becoming less and less open to trans and non-binary people overall.

“The significant lack of specialist LGBT+ support leaves victims and survivors of abuse with nowhere to turn, but no victim of domestic abuse should be left without support, no matter where they live or who they are.”

*Names have been changed