Does one night in Bangkok really make a hard man humble?

“One Night in Bangkok” from the 1984 musical Chess is probably the most famous Western song ever written about Thailand’s capital.

Please note: there’s definitely some stuff in that video that wouldn’t — and shouldn’t — fly today. And, of course, the song is sung from the POV of a Western jerk.

Related:

How to find the Island of Misfit Toys

I never felt like I fit in. Then I left to travel the world and finally I did.

Never Miss a Beat

Subscribe to our newsletter to stay ahead of the latest LGBTQ+ political news and insights.

Daily

Weekly

Good News

But I still think the song — the rap performed by Murray Head, and the chorus sung by Anders Glenmark — is incredibly catchy. This probably isn’t surprising since the song was written by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus of ABBA fame (with lyrics by The Lion King’s Tim Rice).

In fact, the song is so catchy that I’ve had it stuck in my head for almost two months now.

The longer we’ve stayed, the more relevant the lyrics have seemed:

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble

While I immediately found Bangkok fascinating, it’s also a pretty challenging city. The heat, traffic, pollution, and crowds are…a lot.

Did it humble me? Did I tumble? And which did I feel more of: despair or ecstasy?

Here’s a pictorial journey of one of my nights in Bangkok — and the preceding day too. Let’s call it May 6th. My actual May 6th wasn’t quite this packed, but I did do all of the following things during Brent’s and my stay here.

5:53 AM

Sunrise isn’t just the coolest part of the day, temperature-wise, here in Bangkok; it’s also often the loveliest part. So to start this day, I’m sitting out on the balcony of our apartment, watching the sun come up over Bangkok’s fantastic skyline — and feeling very lucky for the life I lead.

VERDICT: ECSTASY

7:03 AM

One of the ways I combat the heat here in Thailand is to go out for early morning walks. So after a quick shower, I grab a Grab ride — Asia’s version of Uber — and head for Benjakitti Park. Thankfully, this early in the day, Bangkok’s hideous traffic is…slightly less hideous.

Benjakitti Park is a relatively new addition to Bangkok, a sprawling metropolis that desperately needs more greenspaces like this one. Walking under the quiet trees and along the serene water is a welcome relief in this city of eleven million people where concrete, neon lights, and honking tuk tuks rule the day — and night.

Visiting here girds me for the day to come.

VERDICT: ECSTASY

7:56 AM

Less than a kilometer from Benjakitti Park is Khlong Toei Market, the largest fresh/wet market in the city. But as I walk from the park to the market, I quickly realize that despite the close distance, the two places exist in completely different worlds.

Benjakitti is surrounded by glittering new condos and offices filled with prosperous Thai and Thai-Chinese — and a large number of rich ex-pats. Meanwhile, gritty Khlong Toei isn’t just where much of working-class Bangkok gets its food from; it also borders Bangkok’s one true slum where people genuinely struggle to survive.

I’m fascinated by Khlong Toei Market, and I could spend hours more exploring it and snapping photos of live (and dead) chickens and fish, piles of all kinds of fruit, bags of rice, mounds of spices, and much more. But I can also never forget my privilege in viewing it as a spectacle while most of the others here are simply working their asses off in the murderous heat, trying to make enough money to keep food on the table.

VERDICT: IT’S COMPLICATED

8:45 AM

Bangkok has a fairly good — and rapidly expanding — public transportation system that includes the Skytrain and Metro. But from here, neither go to my next destination, Chatuchak Market, so I have no choice but to take another Grab.

Which sucks because it’s now rush hour.

At one point, we sit in the same spot, trying to make a left-hand turn for an incredible twenty minutes. Naturally, I desperately need to pee — and the temperature is rapidly soaring.

I’m seriously regretting ever leaving the apartment.

VERDICT: COMPLETE AND UTTER DESPAIR

10:32 AM

It’s not even eleven in the morning, but by the time I arrive at Chatuchak, I’m already drenched in sweat. By the end of the day, the temperature in Bangkok will reach 41 C (105.8 F), the all-time high in the city. And the “feels like” heat index clocks in at 50.5 C (123 F). Even Thai people talk about how awful the heat wave is. Climate change is not going to be kind to the countries of Southeast Asia.

Arriving at the market, I quickly find a place to pee.

The plus side of this insane heat is I probably won’t need to pee again all day, no matter how much water I drink.

VERDICT: SWEATY SWEATY DESPAIR

11:05 AM

Walking around Chatuchak Market — supposedly the largest in the world — I quickly realize this isn’t my cup of tea.

Yes, it’s huge, but it’s also kinda dull. Maybe it’s me — I haven’t much liked Bangkok’s night markets either. I’ve never been much of a shopper, and as a nomad, I’m even less of one now. I have no use for the merchandise around me: the fancy watches, the Buddha sculptures, the leather goods, piles of Crocs, and all the rest.

In my eyes, the market doesn’t have much personality beyond just being huge. I’m outta here.

VERDICT: DESPAIR

12:39 PM

Thailand is famous for its cuisine, and Brent and I have found that it absolutely lives up to its reputation. In fact, we love it so much that we already did not one but two food tours with A Chef’s Tour. Plus, we visited the restaurant owned by Ani, one of our tour guides, as Brent hunted for the secret of Thai food.

I have lunch at an outdoor restaurant, and it’s fantastic. Better yet, the spices don’t blowtorch my face like the basil chicken I had the day before.

VERDICT: ECSTASY

2:00 PM

After lunch, I’m in desperate need of some relief from the heat, so I head for one of Bangkok’s enormous and — HALLELUJAH! — air-conditioned malls. I am not normally a mall person; in fact, I hate them. But the city is famous for its astonishing collection of malls, including some of the largest and most luxurious in the world.

In terms of Bangkok malls, I have already visited:

• Terminal 21, where each level is based on a different international destination. Fun!
• CentralWorld, reportedly the seventh-largest mall in the entire world. Alas, it’s very generic.
• EmQuartier, which not only has a waterfall and a great food court, but a pretty amazing Starbucks on the Sky Garden level.

But my favorite is the city’s newest mall, Iconsiam. It’s got its own souk on the first floor — as authentic as you can be inside a modern shopping mall — with lots of restaurants and a “faux” floating market.

Oh, and there’s also a Maserati dealership inside the mall — one of some 500 different shops on its seven fabulous floors.

I should hate Iconsiam, but I don’t. Call it a guilty pleasure.

VERDICT: I’m embarrassed to admit it, but ECSTASY.

3:33 PM

Bangkok refuses to be any one thing for very long, which is part of its magic.

After lunch, I head for Chinatown. As I exit the Metro station, I’m greeted by an apartment building about as far from luxurious as you can get. I am reminded that most Bangkokians don’t live in high-rise condos or frequent luxury malls.

As if to emphasize the point, as I walk down the bustling street, I watch this man pushing his food cart down the middle of the road. Cars and motorcycles whiz past him, and I’m pretty sure his average good day is a hundred times harder than my average very bad day.

Make no mistake, Thailand has made huge strides in combating poverty. But millions of people here still live a hand-to-mouth existence.

VERDICT: I’m reluctant to call this despair because that makes it sound like people with less money than Brent and I have are living miserable lives. They aren’t by any stretch. But I’ve little doubt they want a better future for themselves and their children, which is why they are working so damned hard.

5:02 PM

As I said, Bangkok never stays one thing for long. This is why a little later, I come across another vendor pulling his wares down the street.

And his cart full of plants and flowers is beautiful — all the more remarkable for the noisy, gritty city surrounding us.

The truth is Bangkok is filled with moments like this — as long as you keep your eyes open for them.

VERDICT: ECSTASY

6:27 PM

Of all the amazing places in Bangkok, Chinatown might be my single favorite. It’s chaotic, and crazy, and very very colorful. I love every aspect of it, from the twisting, narrow lanes hidden between apartment buildings, to the cacophony of Yaowarat Street, to the seemingly endless restaurants and food carts that greet you at every turn.

And then there’s the smells: simmering lemongrass, frying garlic and basil and galangal, and many others I can’t identify. Sure, I might also get a foul whiff from one of the canals or a sewer, but honestly, that’s also part of this area’s charm.

VERDICT: ECSTASY

8:07 PM

Night falls, and Bangkok changes yet again. Spotlights splash against the malls, and the windows in the high-rises flicker with buttery yellow lights.

Don’t even get me started on the neon. I immediately go crazy taking pictures.

And then I walk through Soi Cowboy, one of the city’s infamous Red Light districts.

Soi Cowboy is home to Cockatoo Ladyboy Bar, one of the city’s most famous bars — and almost certainly its most popular ladyboy spot.

As I wander down the street, both “ladyboys” — generally transgender women, though the term is a bit broader than that — as well as female sex workers call out greetings, hoping to tempt me inside their bars.

But I’m just there for the photos. Soon I’m in another Grab headed home.

VERDICT: ECSTASY, though I’m referring to Bangkok’s glittering nightscape and not the city’s sex-work industry, which I definitely find problematic.

9:15 PM

Back home, Brent greets me. He was busy with other stuff today, but he’s finished now, and we sit together out on our balcony, watching the party boats cruise up and down the Chao Phraya River.

The boats all seem to play 80s music, which floats upward. I soak up Bangkok’s glittering skyline.

We’ve had a lot of incredible views in our six years of nomading, but this is still one of the most amazing. I stare deep and hard because I never want to forget it.

VERDICT: ECSTASY

11:45 PM

Brent’s asleep, but my insomnia has kept me up. It’s pretty damned hot even now, so I stand in the breeze by the window, taking in the city at night one last time.

So what’s my final verdict on Bangkok? Did it make me humble, as the song says?

Perhaps a bit, though maybe I’m also tougher than I thought. All I know is I’ve loved it here. It’s now one of my favorite cities in the world.

Of course, the song also says there’s not much difference between despair and ecstasy. I confess I never really understood that line before. The two things couldn’t really be more different, could they?

Now I think maybe I do understand it.

I experienced both despair and ecstasy today, and it’s true; they are very different.

But in a city as fabulous and changeable as Bangkok, you only have to wait a minute, and ecstasy will change into despair — and then just as quickly again into ecstasy.

One night in Bangkok, indeed. I hope I have many, many more.

Michael Jensen is an author, editor, and one half of Brent and Michael Are Going Places, a couple of traveling gay digital nomads. Subscribe to their free travel newsletter here.

Don't forget to share: