Adults are failing LGBTQ+ youth at school and beyond. Here’s how we can step up 

Think back to when you were a teenager. While this time in our lives can often be filled with new experiences and self-discovery, it can also be deeply challenging and sometimes even painful. Time stretches on forever. You don’t have the full slate of freedoms that most adults take for granted. You are stuck in a microcosm of the real world, spending a good part of your life in a classroom with other young people doing their best to fit in – and feeling like you’re failing in some way. 

These challenges of adolescence are even more acute for LGBTQ+ youth, who face an uphill battle to find acceptance in a world that often condemns the beauty of diversity and in many cases seeks to deny their very existence. Even before COVID-19 sent us into seclusion for the better part of the last three years – with devastating mental health consequences for many – LGBTQ+ youth were experiencing higher rates of depression and other forms of mental illness due to higher rates of bullying, harassment, and family rejection. 

Related:

It’s time to start listening to queer youth. Here’s what they have to say.

Queer youth feel betrayed and abandoned by the adults elected to protect them. When will they start listening?

Now, amid escalating efforts in many states to ban even the slightest mention of sexual or gender identity in schools, the well-being of LGBTQ+ students is under attack. 

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While young queer activists across the country – including It Gets Better’s incredible Youth Voices – are heroically speaking out against these attacks on their rights, their health and their very identities, they can’t win this fight alone. Right now, adults are failing LGBTQ+ students, and we urgently need to take bold, decisive action to support and protect them.  

The first thing we can do to support our queer and trans youth is simple: listen. With the advent of social media, the escalating “culture wars,” and the lingering aftermath of COVID, the problems young people face today are different from those faced by earlier generations. My interactions with LGBTQ+ youth have shown me how deeply they have thought about the challenges they face and what they need to resolve them. We need to resist the urge to default to our own experiences, to say “you’ll understand when you’re older.”  

We also need to speak out forcefully against anti-LGBTQ+ education policies, whether they restrict discussion of LGBTQ+ identity altogether, ban the use of preferred pronouns, or attempt to forcibly out trans students to their families. No matter what grades or ages these policies target, their intended message is clear: if you are LGBTQ+, you are not welcome here. Ensuring that queer youth feel empowered to express their identity, safely and on their own timeline, will have a massive, sustained impact on their overall wellbeing. 

But LGBTQ+ youth need more than just our attention and our supportive words; they need our resources too. Specifically in schools, there is an almost endless list of priorities in urgent need of funding that would make an enormous difference for the day-to-day well-being of LGBTQ+ students. 

Through It Gets Better’s 50 States, 50 Grants, 5000 Voices program, we were so proud to recently announce grants of up to $10,000 each to more than 70 schools across the U.S. and Canada. They cover a range of projects to uplift and empower LGBTQ+ youth, including educator training, inclusive curriculum, community art projects, Pride celebrations, and the priorities of local Genders and Sexualities Alliances (aka GSAs). The philanthropic community stepping up to fund more projects like these at schools across the country would be one of the single most effective, tangible actions to support LGBTQ+ youth we could take.

While the adults in the room argue about the nuances of parental rights in education, the right to healthcare for trans youth, book bans and curriculum restrictions, young LGBTQ+ people everywhere are serving up a counter strike fueled by their passion to create a better world – a world that celebrates diversity and understands its value. Adults should be honored to have a seat at that table to watch and learn – and to catalyze the passion of young LGBTQ+ people who are ready to pick up the banner to concretize their right to exist.

Brian Wenke is the Executive Director of leading LGBTQ+ non profit, the It Gets Better Project, and has led the global storytelling effort to empower LGBTQ+ youth since 2016. He has spearheaded multi-national campaigns to connect and engage with LGBTQ+ youth where they live, work, and socialize – and has successfully leveraged corporate and institutional partnerships to expand the It Gets Better Project’s reach, which now spans four continents and six major languages.