Why do straight guys have sex with men?

Psychology Today published a fascinating article up on why straight guys have sex with other men a while back. I’ve said it repeatedly on Bilerico, but if it weren’t for straight guys I wouldn’t have had as much sex when I was younger.

A good 50% of my experiences have been with straight guys. Most of my closest friends have been straight guys and I’d say I had sex with 99% of them. None of them identified as bisexual; the closest was one friend who called himself “hetero flexible.”

Most of the guys just like the extra attention. As one friend said to me once, “If the gay dude is hitting on me and thinks I’m hot, then I know it’s true. Y’all have good taste. Most gay guys look better than straight guys.”

It’s a flattery thing. Combine that with the opportunity to get their rocks off and it’s win-win in their world.


One guy told me he wished I was straight or bi so we could include a woman and, therefore, have sex more often. It felt good and got him excited, but the absence of his preferred sexual partner – a woman – would make it better for the straight guy. He liked me, sex was fun, but it wasn’t quite “right” since he wasn’t bisexual. Understandable. Bi guys and straight guys are different.

Many of my friends have always said that those guys weren’t actually “straight” and argued that they were at least a little gay. I disagreed, but no one ever seemed to really grock what I was telling them.

The orientation and gender of the person they are fucking didn’t matter. What matters is that they are getting off. Period. It’s fun and enjoyable and there are no strings or romantic involvement. At best, it is a fuck buddy arrangement – but mostly close friends who occasionally get off together when bored or horny.

Turns out, I was right all along.

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