In another example of life imitating reality television — don’t you dare call it “art” — the likely Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump says he’s narrowed down his choice for The Apprentice, I mean, his running mate, to “five or six” candidates. And it’s a good bet that among them you’ll find someone who identifies themselves with an “R” for Republican or a “C” for Conservative than even one letter of LGBTQ, or heaven forbid, a “D” for Democrat.
But that shouldn’t stop us from dreaming of a candidate who can provide balance to The Donald’s ticket; someone with a fierce personality, fab abs, shoegasmic footwear and a face you wouldn’t mind looking at for four years. Oh, and of course, queer.
If you’re wondering why we didn’t include brains in this list of qualifications, we must ask that you please pay attention, as we are in fact discussing the Republican nomination for vice president (i.e. Dan Quayle, who has endorsed Trump. Because of course he did).
So here are five people we think would make the perfect LGBTQ running mates for the presumptive GOP nominee.