Mary Lou Bruner is a fan of Hallmark Hall of Fame made-for-TV movies, the work of Ayn Rand and the film The Shawshank Redemption.
A devout believer in the teachings of Jesus H. Christ and a proud lifelong Republican, she believes that Noah transported baby dinosaurs on his ark, school shootings are a direct result of evolution being taught in schools, climate change is a hoax, and Obama moonlit as a gay prostitute before entering politics, among other things.
She is also one of the frontrunners for the Texas State Board of Education.
According to Miss Mary Lou, she is more than qualified for the job because “I have a master’s degree in Special Education and 36 years of experience as a teacher, counselor, and educational diagnostician. I have a BS in elementary education and English and 6 other Texas teaching certificates.”
Here are some of the other platforms Mary Lou is running on:
On sex ed:
Most parents do not know about the drawings of nude men, women, boys, and girls in some children’s books in our public schools. Many children’s books on the recommended list contain frank discussions about sexual issues which are inappropriate in my opinion. Many of the books which teachers read to your small children are not allowed in jails and prisons because of the bad effect the books have on the prisoners. These books stimulate children to experiment with sex.
On writing in cursive:
It is very difficult for me to understand how educators could even think about doing away with instruction in cursive writing in schools. Maybe they will also decide to do away with standard spelling. That would make just as much sense in my opinion.
On the Great Flood:
To the television reporter who asked me while the camera was rolling if I REALLY believe there was a man named Noah who built an Ark and filled it with pairs of animals, and the entire world was covered with water: THE ANSWER IS STILL “YES, I believe the Holy Bible. I believe there was a Great Flood. How do YOU explain fossils of seashells and other sea animals on tops of mountains all over the world? How do you explain the Grand Canyon? You are very naive if you believe a tiny river carved out the Grand Canyon.