“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” the speech began innocently enough. “You like my trumpet? It’s a sound heard around the world…”
“Since one of my brethren introduced the King James Bible, since I represent the Lord Jesus Christ the great I am, I’m going to add to your public document and your public record from the public document of the great I am,” Tonn announced.
Speaking her mind on a proposed ordinance that would prohibit discrimination against any person based on sexual orientation or gender identity in employment, public accommodations and housing, Tonn, a former Republican candidate herself, demonstrated that she was squarely against such an ordinance.
“Starting with, oh my — a tampon,” she continued, pulling one from between the pages of her Bible. “Reminds me that little girls in pubescence get periods — female girls.”
Next, she fiercely bellowed out some passages from the Second Epistle of Peter, which recounts God’s destructive judgment of Sodom and Gomorrah.
“Now,” she continued, “since you want to create some ordinance to avoid discrimination for members of our community who engage in, I perceive, unhealthy, ungodly behavior, you might want to consider creating an ordinance for one who speaks in tongues.”
Before she could demonstrate her abilities to channel spirits through glossolalia, the assembly chairman gently informed her that her time was up.