LGBTQ Life

‘Straight’ men discuss their secret sexual relationships with other men

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A recent national survey released by the CDC revealed that more Americans are identifying as bisexual than ever before. Not only that, but more straight-identifying men are admitting to having tried gay sex.

Researchers interviewed more than 9,000 men and women ages 18 to 44 years of age. Of all the men interviewed, 6.2 percent of them said they had engaged in same-sex sexual activity at least once in their lifetime. And of that 6.2 percent, 2.3 percent identified as straight.

We managed to locate a few and convince them to chat with us under the agreement that we would keep their identities confidential.

Here’s what they had to say:

Rob (not his real name) is 46-years-old. He lives in San Jose, CA and has been married to his wife for 12 years. He identifies as “straight with bisexual tendencies” and has been hooking up with other guys on the down low since he was 19.

“Hooking up with other men, to me, is a non-complicated way of releasing sexual steam,” he explains. “It’s simply a physical release with no pressure.”

Rob prefers getting together with other married men in secret, as opposed to single or openly gay men. He finds most of the guys on Craigslist or dating sites like Squirt.org.

“I seek out other married men for the simple fact that they are in the same boat as me, and hopefully can relate to what I am looking for,” he says. “I do not want to jeopardize my marriage. Another married man can understand that. Other married men are not willing to take as many risks.”

The primary risk being, Rob says, “getting strong emotions or falling in love. I wouldn’t want to become the object of another man’s desire. I do find some men attractive, but for me it’s just sexual. I don’t feel attracted to men in a loving way at all.”

Currently, there are two guys Rob sees on a regular basis.

“One is divorced, the other is a widower and semi-retired,” he explains. “They both live alone, and are therefore able to host our get togethers.” But, he is careful to add, “there is no love involved.”

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