Russian man marries pizza pie

"You may eat the bride."

"You may eat the bride." CEN

Russian intolerance towards the LGBTQ community has grown significantly in the last ten years — in fact, a poll in July strongly suggests 80% of Russians are against same-sex marriage. (That number was 59% in 2005.)

Nevertheless, the country’s notorious anti-gay laws didn’t stand in the way of one man, who married a pizza pit in a wedding ceremony in the city of Tomsk.

The Mirror reports that Russian authorities refused to grant the “couple” an official marriage license (no surprises there), so instead they threw their ceremony at the local pizzeria.

“At some point,” the man said, “I realized that half of my friends were complaining about their better half, while the others were complaining about the lack of a better half.”

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The former bachelor claims he decided to tie the knot with his favorite treat because he was tired of being single: “Love between two humans is a complicated wild thing,” he said.

But pizza “would not reject you or betray you, and speaking quite frankly and sincerely, I love it.”

“Deep-pan” and “deadpan” became one when the restaurant gave the couple an official-looking certificate attached to a clipboard.

Earlier this year, Russian President Vladimir Putin‘s United Russian party unveiled a flag celebrating heterosexual families in response to America’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage.

In 2014, Putin said Russia must “cleanse” itself of homosexuality in order to increase the country’s birth rate.

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