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Ottawa gay teen commits suicide after months of online posts documenting his depression

Monday, October 17, 2011
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Update: In a statement released by his family on Monday, Jamie’s father Allan Hubley said “bullying was definitely a factor” in his son’s death. Story here.

Sad news to report from Ottawa, is the suicide death of Jamie Hubley, a 15-year-old gay teen who took his own life on Saturday after documenting online the final, painful months of his life.

Jamie, with his father, Ottawa Councillor Allan Huble. (Family photo.)

Jamie wrote openly on his Tumblr blog of his struggles with depression, and in a post just three weeks ago, wrote, “I hate being the only open gay guy in my school … It fucking sucks, I really want to end it.”

Then on Friday, this final post (emphases Jamie’s):

Im tired of life really. Its so hard, I’m sorry. I cant take it anymore. [...]

Being sad is sad :/. I’v been like this for way to long. [...]

I hit rock fucking bottom, fell through a crack, now im stuck.

Jamie’s Tumblr blog titled, “You can’t break … when you’re already broken” reveals his depression and thoughts of suicide, interspersed with angst-filled quotes and startling images of self-harm, reported the Ottawa Citizen.

“From the outside, he looked like the happiest kid. He was always smiling and giving everybody hugs in the halls,” said Steph Wheeler, a close friend who had known Jamie since the pair were in figure skating together as children a decade ago.

But Wheeler, 16, knew the sensitive boy was struggling with being out in high school and often felt the sting of verbal bullying. She said all that Jamie wanted was what every teenager wants — somebody to love.

“I just remember him wanting a boyfriend so bad, he’d always ask me to find a boy for him. I think he wanted someone to love him for who he was,” she said.

Jamie is described as a gifted actor and singer who loved Lady Gaga, Adele and Katy Perry, and posted numerous videos of himself singing on his personal YouTube channel, including this rendition of Gaga’s “Born this Way,”

Following is Jamie’s final blog post, tagged “suicide note,” and written just hours before his death.

“Remember me as a Unicorn,” Jamie wrote, a reference to the television series “Glee” — of which he was an avid fan — and an episode that refers to a unicorn as someone who is unique and special.

Jamie was a student at AY Jackson Secondary School in Kanata, Ontario, a suburb of Ottawa, where he started a rainbow alliance club for LGBT youth and their allies.

A Facebook memorial page is here.

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