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Ottawa gay teen commits suicide after months of online posts documenting his depression

Monday, October 17, 2011

Update: In a statement released by his family on Monday, Jamie’s father Allan Hubley said “bullying was definitely a factor” in his son’s death. Story here.

Sad news to report from Ottawa, is the suicide death of Jamie Hubley, a 15-year-old gay teen who took his own life on Saturday after documenting online the final, painful months of his life.

Jamie, with his father, Ottawa Councillor Allan Huble. (Family photo.)

Jamie wrote openly on his Tumblr blog of his struggles with depression, and in a post just three weeks ago, wrote, “I hate being the only open gay guy in my school … It fucking sucks, I really want to end it.”

Then on Friday, this final post (emphases Jamie’s):

Im tired of life really. Its so hard, I’m sorry. I cant take it anymore. [...]

Being sad is sad :/. I’v been like this for way to long. [...]

I hit rock fucking bottom, fell through a crack, now im stuck.

Jamie’s Tumblr blog titled, “You can’t break … when you’re already broken” reveals his depression and thoughts of suicide, interspersed with angst-filled quotes and startling images of self-harm, reported the Ottawa Citizen.

“From the outside, he looked like the happiest kid. He was always smiling and giving everybody hugs in the halls,” said Steph Wheeler, a close friend who had known Jamie since the pair were in figure skating together as children a decade ago.

But Wheeler, 16, knew the sensitive boy was struggling with being out in high school and often felt the sting of verbal bullying. She said all that Jamie wanted was what every teenager wants — somebody to love.

“I just remember him wanting a boyfriend so bad, he’d always ask me to find a boy for him. I think he wanted someone to love him for who he was,” she said.

Jamie is described as a gifted actor and singer who loved Lady Gaga, Adele and Katy Perry, and posted numerous videos of himself singing on his personal YouTube channel, including this rendition of Gaga’s “Born this Way,”

Following is Jamie’s final blog post, tagged “suicide note,” and written just hours before his death.

“Remember me as a Unicorn,” Jamie wrote, a reference to the television series “Glee” — of which he was an avid fan — and an episode that refers to a unicorn as someone who is unique and special.

Jamie was a student at AY Jackson Secondary School in Kanata, Ontario, a suburb of Ottawa, where he started a rainbow alliance club for LGBT youth and their allies.

A Facebook memorial page is here.

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61 more reader comments:

  1. out of fkn control.. -__-

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 11:57am
  2. RIP Jamie, in the arms of the Angels

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 11:57am
  3. This just absolutely breaks my heart. We, as a Country, are failing our children. This has to stop!

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 11:58am
  4. EXACTLY! AFTER DOCUMENTING! … NOBODY IS DOING ANYTHING! DAMN! … this is so sad and so NERVVE RACKING FOR A PARENT! … I ALWAYS ASK MY CHILDREN QUESTIONS!.. every single day! too much going on in their little world NOT TOO!… *****REMEMBER WE WERE KIDS B4 TOO , AND IT WAS HARD THEN!.. HELL IT 100 TIMES WORSE FOR OUR BABIES!***

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 11:59am
  5. heartbreaking

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 11:59am
  6. Thoughts and prayers for him and his family.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 11:59am
  7. so sad … rip jamie

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 11:59am
  8. wow! Just goes to show you what horrible people are out there in the world who discriminatre against LGBT men/woman/ambigender/bigender/bisexual/trans etc.. we should be accepted for who we are! Not be hurt and bashed for who we are! RIP Jamie You should be here with us on Earth <3 RIP

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:01pm
  9. You should open up when you can handle it, really. RIP.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:01pm
  10. im a lesbian and what happened to Jamie is really sad and should have NEVER happened! my own uncle who has always been there for me, disowns the fact that im related to him just because im gay. its like its so wrong for us LGBTQ to love. People say its a sin, but I have never read in the bible that it was a sin to fall in love.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:02pm
  11. You guys are just now putting this up jamey died almost a month ago we as people need to satnd up and stop bullying….
    Stop bullying take a stand lend a hand

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:02pm
  12. It was documented for all to see! How can anyone have not seen his posts and not taken it seriously?! Especially after all that’s happened the past year. ):

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:04pm
  13. :(

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:04pm
  14. RIP man

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:05pm
  15. thats sad …rip jamie

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:06pm
  16. As I’ve said before, it’s NOT getting better. You have to wonder why those in his circle were not paying attention.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:08pm
  17. RIP….So freakin sad!

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:12pm
  18. Why the FUCK does anybody “like” this status???

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:12pm
  19. RIP Jamie. I truly hope you’re singing in Heaven. Parents when your child stops talking that doesn’t mean you stop asking questions! And no-one is blaming the parents, the blame game does no-one any good! But parents try to listen to what your kids aren’t saying. And kids, open up and talk. It might seem like it’s never going to stop. But bullies are just cowards who shout loud. It does stop and it does get better, I promise x

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:13pm
  20. this breaks my heart. rip jamie.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:14pm
  21. Love you Jamie. I know you are safe now being held in the arms of the man that takes care and loves us all.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:18pm
  22. :( … rather — ARRgh!! This must STOP.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:26pm
  23. Sigh… :/

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:26pm
  24. So sad

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:28pm
  25. This made me cry, but please no that I will spread the word about what happened to you and your struggle. Your name and your place in this world will not be forgotten.<3 R.I.P.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:29pm
  26. :(

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:33pm
  27. Here`s the thing: People are not doing anything about bully in general! Bullying should be a serious offense to commit in school! Suspend the bullies, detention, whatever! Then find out why the bully is bullying, troubles at home, with parents, siblings, ect. Its because bullies aren`t being punished/problems aren`t being resolved that this is happening. Its sad all these teens are commiting suicide because assholes at school can`t handle the bs in their life, so they take it out on innocent classmates. Instead of posting stories like this one, help schools eliminate bullying to ALL children! Not just the LGBTQ ones. There are solutions to end bullying, how many more kids need to die until schools begin implementing tougher bullying punishment and prevention policies?

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:35pm
  28. :( And a little disturbed at the 6 “likes” on this post.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:36pm
  29. This moved me to tears when I saw this. I was once where you were. By the grace of God, I missed on my goal of suicide. Shortly thereafter, I discovered that while God-fearing persons of a nuymber of religious persuasions, did not love/like me, God did, It seems many of us have more to learn about our Heavenly Parent. Jamie, may you rst in peace in the arms of your lovijng creator. Myabe one day a lotmore of us will be truly loving,as is our Creator.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:37pm
  30. Oh no, not another :’(

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:40pm
  31. The world is never going to be rid of bullies unfortunately. And telling people “it gets better” isn’t going to help people either. We need a campaign that teaches lgbt youth what THEY can do to proactively help get to a better tomorrow. Telling them that things will get better is disingenuous, and can really lead someone to lose hope when things don’t start getting better. These teens need to learn that they have to seek out support, and not just expect the support to come to them. They need to learn to let go of people who can’t or won’t accept them. They need to learn to live for themselves and not to others expectations. They need positive lgbt role models. These lame it gets better campaigns are not helping.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:45pm
  32. RIP sweet boy, u life will count for something, u will be remembered my many, oh how I wish u could have been shored up with positive messages, it truly does get better.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:52pm
  33. Jamie, I’m so sorry that nobody came to your aid….I only wish I had the chance to….RIP….you will forever be loved and missed.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:53pm
  34. This is so sad people need to open there eyes and see what we are doin to there’s young people by the things we say. Come on people live and let live.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 12:54pm
  35. I am so sorry Jamie. u r forever with us. and even though i didnt know u i love and u were important in our life.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 1:00pm
  36. This story broke my heart

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 1:00pm
  37. note to Tori, ur pretty radical, which has it’s place, but in defense of “it get better”, I was raised in a rural community, I did not have access to all the suggestions u offer, sometimes, most times, knowing it will get better WILL offer a ray of hope. How many of us know exactly what ur talking about but could not find that incredible self assurednesss…it is hard to rise above the constant put downs and attacts re: how sick and dirty u r. It does get better for the stronger LGBT children fight for the ones who have no voice.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 1:01pm
  38. We are regular people being treated as if we are diseased…rip Jamie..it just breaks my heart

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 1:04pm
  39. Rest in Peace. So young, yet went through so much it seems. Such a tragedy. Wish we could stop people like this innocent young man from taking themselves out of the picture. He wasn’t what was wrong with the picture. The environment was, and it needs to change before anyone can move forward. Thoughts are with the family at this time. I also lost a son, and it is so hard, find comfort in the good memories when possible.
    Rest in Peace Jamie, I hope you became that unicorn.
    Lets open our minds to other peoples differences instead of assuming our differences separate us completely.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 1:23pm
  40. I shed so many tears for you Jamie :( I understand why you did what you did, his blood is on anyone who bullied him.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 1:45pm
  41. I am so very sorry for him and his family…my heart goes out to them. They are all in my prayers. <3

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 1:50pm
  42. I live in Ottawa. When I heard the devastating news this morning, and how sad Jamie was it broke my heart. When I heard that he said that being the only out kid at his school was “a thousand times harder than it looks on Glee”, it made me wonder – Does Glee maybe make it look too easy? Kurt’s dad is the most perfect parent a gay kid could ever want, and though Kurt suffered bullying, he is always surrounded by friends who are gay positive. That wasn’t my experience in high school; does it give kids unrealistic expectations? The whole sad story of Jamie’s misery has made me wish I could have done something. We have had full equality and legal protection against discrimination in Canada for many years, and Ottawa is the nation’s capital and a city of about a million people. It saddens me that even against that background of acceptance and legal protection, Jamie felt alone and miserable.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 2:16pm
  43. I’m so sad to read this.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 2:18pm
  44. Terrible news.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 2:27pm
  45. How can people “like” this? It’s a tragedy!!

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 2:59pm
  46. RIP

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 3:34pm
  47. Very very sad but it will never stop. We are ALL guilty of one or many of the following: gossiping, backstabbing, judging, commenting, difamation….. This boy was sadly not equipped with the life tools to deal with what humans do to one another. We MUST all take a long look in the mirror :-(

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 3:34pm
  48. what a shame !

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 3:41pm
  49. R.I.P.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 3:58pm
  50. Too many amazing teens have taken their life over ignorant people and it;s getting out of hand. People need to understand that no matter what sexual preference, race, or whatever the case may be, they need to understand that: WE’RE ALL HUMAN. Not to mention, the teens how commit suicide, how do you know it won’t get better? You don’t know! I’m sorry that they took their lives and I hope they finally found peace. RIP to Jamie and the rest who have taken their lives.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 4:12pm
  51. His father is a city councilman.

    He better be extremely public about bullying after this.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 4:53pm
  52. RIP Jamie Hubley
    May you rest in peace.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 6:11pm
  53. It’s a shame such a young person took his life. This society is fucking.disgusting. Why couldn’t anybody in school helped put a stop? This fucking pisses me off.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 6:50pm
  54. I’m so sick and tired of bullying!

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 6:53pm
  55. How many more???

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 8:01pm
  56. IM SORRY BUT, HOW THE FUCK DIDNT SOMEONE SEE HIS TUMBLR AND NOT NOTIFY HIS PARENT AND WHY DIDNT HIS PARENTS DO SOMETHING? I HAVE BEEN IN HIS POSITION AND MY MOM GOT HELP,ITS SIMPLY HIS PARENTS THAT FAILED.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 9:55pm
  57. RIP Jamie..I did not know you, but I know your soul was beautiful and kind, stuck in a cruel world, now your soul may only know love, happiness, joy, and peace. It is always horrible knowing someone commits this horrible crime of humanity because others are ignorant, and intolerant. So many people say, “I wish I would have known you, I could have told you that it does get better…” but how many of us actually show that it does get better? This is something everyone is guilty of, including myself, even though I try to, it does get hard to do so. We should all try a little harder to show the LGBTQ youth community of America and across the globe that it does in fact get better. <3 RIP Jamie <3

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 10:32pm
  58. I remember that there was a few people who were openly gay in my high school. I’m not sure what they went through mostly because I was a loner. But I do know that there were a few an that it was almost a fad to be bisexual. Idk if it now though.

    Is there people to talk to? I’m struggling with my sexuality. Idk if I’m gay or straight. I don’t have many people to talk about it to. Sigh. I’m not suicidal. I’m just needing people to talk who have been thru this.

    Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 11:19pm
  59. To be honest, this kid sounds pretty unhinged. Everything in this letter seems to out of touch with reality- he’s talking about unicorns and Glee in a suicide note for crying out loud. Nothing got me more fired up than his comment about “waiting three years”. Three years is nothing! It would have been a small fraction of his life. It’s so sad, but these kids who commit suicide have no notion of what they’re throwing away, just to avoid those few years of high school. There’s no sense of proportion.

    Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2011 at 12:18pm
  60. R.I.P Jamie , it’s so sad that anyone has to suffer, who cares if someone’s gay or coloured etc were all humans. We should help eachother. I am also sorry for his parent’s loosing a child is pure hell :(

    Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2011 at 3:53pm
  61. Consistent with the Christian Agenda.

    Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2012 at 2:19am