This gay man became a single father of twins after deciding to navigate surrogacy alone

Joseph Tito spent his young adulthood as a successful producer and director traveling the world and partying with celebrities. He reaped joy from his success, but by his late thirties he felt something missing.

“I would be in a room full of people and yet feel utterly alone,” he wrote in an essay for Newsweek. “It sounds cliché, but it was my reality. Amidst all the excitement, there was this gentle, persistent void that kept growing inside me.”

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That void, he realized, was a family. He wanted children. But after starting the journey toward fatherhood with his partner, he realized the couple’s goals were not aligned. They parted ways, and he decided to move forward alone.

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Tito knew he wanted to use a surrogate, but he could not believe the costs.

“Surrogacy opened my eyes to a world of financial realities that I had never anticipated,” he wrote. “The costs of surrogacy, spanning from Canada to the U.S. and across the globe, were staggering, to say the least.” The costs, he added, “took my breath away.”

“It was more than overwhelming, it was a sobering moment that made me question everything.”

Tito ultimately found a surrogacy agency in Kenya that, after significant vetting and meetings with his lawyer, felt like the right choice. He knew, however, that the decision came with some risk.

“It meant navigating a system that was markedly less regulated and predictable, in a setting where medical and legal resources might not mirror those available back home,” he explained.

The journey was painful, with several failed embryo transfers along the way. Each one, Tito wrote, took “a toll on my emotional and mental well-being. I began to doubt if parenthood was meant for me, wondering if it was God’s plan for me to remain childless. With each failed attempt, a small part of me felt like it died inside, the pain nearly unbearable.”

But on the morning of Friday, April 19, 2018, Tito awoke to an email announcing that his surrogate was pregnant. A few weeks later, he found out he was having twins.

“The weight of this responsibility hit me like a ton of bricks,” he said, but now, he couldn’t imagine life any other way.

Tito’s twins, Stella and Mia, are five years old now, and they have brought endless joy to his life. “Each day with them is a new adventure,” he wrote, “a journey of discovery and learning. Their laughter and chatter fill our home with a warmth and vitality that I couldn’t have imagined before becoming a parent.”

He continued, “I created a little world for my children where they know they are loved unconditionally, cared for immensely, and accepted wholly. And if that broadens the narrative about family along the way, well, that’s just the icing on the cake.”

Tito also wrote about his changing role as a parent as the twins grow up, and how he is now devoted to “guiding them, nurturing their talents, and instilling in them the values of kindness, respect, and curiosity.”

“Their well-being and happiness are my top priorities,” he said, “and I find immense fulfillment in seeing them thrive.”

Tito has even written a children’s book, The Twin Diaries: Stella and Mia Meet Papa, which chronicles the story of his family and explains surrogacy in a way kids can understand.

“Stella and Mia are not just my children, they’re the center of my world, the source of my greatest love, and the inspiration behind so many of my thoughts and actions,” he concluded. “They’ve brought a new depth and meaning to my life, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for them.”