The cishets have some…interesting…ideas about what it means to be LGBTQ. But we know better.
1. It’s expensive
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Our wallets are already bracing for Pride season, and the gay tax we’ll be paying for anything with a rainbow on it.
2. It’s about more than sex
It’s also about being chatty (and walking fast and being late).
The gay urge to share your entire life story with friendly cashiers and slow down the checkout process for everyone else
— Hai Giang (@giangyhai) May 17, 2022
3. We want romance too. And also sex.
That feeling when you realize that getting more gay romcoms means more gays getting disappointed when reality doesn’t live up to the fantasy.
4. We’re here for all the puns.
If you haven’t made a dad joke about transportation, are you really trans?
the trans urge to give inspiring pep talks to trains, encouraging them to follow their own path and freely frolic through the countryside
— TheLexikitty 🏳️⚧️ (@thelexikitty) May 19, 2022
If you don’t chuckle at out of context references to tops and bottoms, your gay card may be a counterfeit.
5. Our elders throw some of the best shade.
Because when you’ve seen what George has seen, you don’t have time for nonsense.
Madison Cawthorn seems unhappy. He warned on Instagram that the “time for gentile politics as usual has come to an end.”
But this was plainly a typo. He clearly meant to say “genital politics.”
— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) May 20, 2022
6. Our identities aren’t a phase, but our hair color might be.
Why limit ourselves to just one color?
the bisexual urge to change my hair colour every 5 minutes
— steph (@steph0sims) January 19, 2022
7. We can flip the script in an instant
Tinder dude: sorry I’m just not into that. (me being trans)
Me: oh cool no worries, I totally understand if you’re not into women. Being gay is so valid.
— Charlie Moore (@socalledcharlie) May 14, 2022
8. We have an inexplicable love for the Olive Garden.
If you know, you know.