Last week on “Chelsea,” Santa’s sapphic cousin “Lesbo Claus” — lesbian comic Fortune Feimster — invited Chelsea Handler onto her lap to hear the host’s holiday wishes.
Feimster did her best impression of a creepy mall Santa, complete with the lewd comments and quid-pro-quo groping.
“Something feels very funny in your pocket,” Handler notes as Feimister pulls her leg onto Lesbo Claus’s lap.
“Oh, it’s just a candy cane,” Ms. Claus retorts. “I’m kidding, it’s my dick.”
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Handler asks for an assortment of gifts, including a good leg for her dog Tammy, a Nutribullet, and a third season of “Bloodline.”
She also asks Lesbo Claus to get a little something for Mike Pence that the vice president-elect might not have thought to ask for yet — a gay son.
“I want a membership to the Ambien of the month club,” she continues, “and Planned Parenthood for snakes.”
Handler also gets into a tiff with Lesbo Claus’ elf, who then gets into a homoerotic tussles with the snowman.
What’s on your list for Santa?
