Joseph Bukombe

When asked about his dreams for the future and the life he wishes for himself in San Diego, Bukombe describes his commitment to working hard and staying focused on his job as a chef at the restaurant on El Cajon Boulevard in North Park.

“I’ve always had a dream of owning my own hotel back home in Uganda and I pray that, maybe as situations get better where gay people can live freely, [that could be a possibility]. I would love to open a restaurant back home and hope people back home would come,” Bukombe said.

Hearing him talk about the future in such a positive way, it is difficult to truly comprehend what Bukombe has been through these past two years and the challenges he still faces.

Recounting his time at Otay Mesa, he explains, “Every day you live in fear; you don’t know what’s happening tomorrow. You see people being deported … almost for nothing, you know. So, it was crazy.”

Bukombe’s words are slow and deliberate, as if recounting these events involves delving back into part of his memory bank he has purposefully left behind. This becomes clearer as he recalls what life behind bars was like.

While he was able to resist deportation by refusing to sign the travel documents necessary to send him back to Uganda, Bukombe said his time in detention was marked by depression and anxiety, both of which required psychiatric help. He talked about the darkest period of his detention, and his answer is telling. When he first arrived at Otay Mesa he was told he must sign deportation papers.

“I refused because I knew what I was going to face. It was like signing a death warrant. … And I remember the guy told me, ‘If you don’t sign I’ll charge you with a criminal … charge and then send you to federal prison for four to nine years.’ So I told him, ‘You know what, it’s better. It’s better to spend nine years – I’m already doing two years here.’”

Ordeal worsens after detainees learn that he is gay

Bukombe’s feelings of isolation were exacerbated when his case became well-known among his fellow inmates. He recalls losing a lot of friends, being picked on, and getting into confrontations, an ordeal he says was never-ending.

“You know, [detainees] live there two or three months and then they got deported and then new people come. So you have to go through the same things, like, you’re coming out, coming out; every day, you’re experiencing that,” he said.

Prohibited from using a computer and only granted access to visitors on the weekends, Bukombe admits that his time in detention was extremely lonely but also forced him to be strong. He had friends who hadn’t abandoned him when they discovered he was gay and he says that they created a small family of sorts and that those relationships gave him the strength to go on.

Living among hate was nothing new to Bukombe, though. He grew up listening to his preachers condemning homosexuality in the Pentecostal Church in Kampala, Uganda, which left him with many unanswered questions.

“You know, I was … living with shame. There were a couple of times where I really hated myself for that. I tried to commit suicide, like, three times because I was [so] confused,” he said.

Learning to love himself and a God who doesn’t hate

With the help of pastor Rich McCullen and other pastors at Missiongathering Christian Church in North Park, Bukombe said he began to develop a different, more personal and loving relationship with God.

“I grew up listening to people … condemning and preaching a message of hate to spread the hate,” he said. “You know, it’s like putting a bunch of people in a group and teaching them to go out and hate other people. But Jesus never did that. Jesus preached love and Grace. So I’ve really come to know God in a different way; in a personal way and as a God of love, who loves everybody.”

There is an ease in which Bukombe speaks about his relationship with God and it is clear that this is the main source of his strength and convictions. He has had a long struggle with accepting himself and being comfortable exposing his true identity to the world.

Boettcher’s artistic vision takes shape in the form of a music video interpretation of Lady Gaga’s song, “Hair.”

Watch:

From the video’s description:

Hair is about being yourself, being true to who you are; as the song exemplifies, “you are the spirit of your hair, it’s all the glory you bare”, YOU are your #hair.

As most of us know, growing up isn’t easy. Countless young people are faced with daily tormenting and bullying, causing them to feel isolated and alone. This is an especially harsh reality for LGBT kids and teens, who often hide their sexuality for fear of bullying. In many instances, gay and lesbian adolescents are taunted, sometimes even tortured, simply for being themselves.

The “It Gets Better Project,” launched by Seattle-based activist and author Dan Savage and his husband Terry Miller, has since compiled more than 10,000 online videos to provide support and encouragement to LGBT youth struggling with bullying and adversity.

Editor’s Note: If you or someone you know needs support, please don’t hesitate to call the Trevor Project‘s Lifeline at 866-488-7386.

In the study, sexual minority stress included the men’s perceptions that they needed to conceal their sexual orientation, or that others were uncomfortable with or avoided them because of they are gay.

The study also found that legal marriage for same-sex couples may confer a unique protective effect against poor mental health. Having a same-sex domestic partner or same-sex spouse boosted the emotional health of the studied men, but having a same-sex legal spouse appeared to be the most beneficial relationship arrangement.

According to lead author Richard G. Wight, MPH, PhD, Associate Researcher at the Department of Community Health Sciences, School of Public Health, and Visiting Scholar of Public Policy at the Williams Institute at UCLA:

“This study shines a light on the mental health of a generation of gay men who survived the early years of the AIDS crisis and came of age on the heels of the gay rights movement.

Whether legal marriage benefits mental health within same-sex couples in the way it has been proven to benefit different-sex couples deserves much more empirical attention, particularly given that same-sex marriage is not available in most states and was only briefly available in California in 2008.”

The study also suggests that targeted campaigns may be necessary to address this generation of gay men’s heightened risk for poor mental health. In addition to sexual orientation stigma, mental health was also found to be negatively affected by having experienced the loss of many of their peers due to AIDS.

General aging-related stress, such as concerns over finances and independence, also affected the mental health of these midlife and older gay men.

The study was based on self-administered questionnaires completed in 2009 or 2010 by approximately 200 HIV-negative and HIV-positive gay-identified men between the ages of 44 and 75. The studied men were a sub-sample of participants in the UCLA component of the Multicenter AIDS Cohort Study, one of the largest and longest running natural-history studies of HIV/AIDS in the United States.

The study was conducted by the Department of Community Health Sciences, School of Public Health, and the Williams Institute, School of Law, at UCLA and the Department of Sociology and the Health Equity Institute, San Francisco State University.

Greg Louganis

His followers on Facebook say “Give him a chance!” and to that end, they’ve created a page called “We Want Greg Louganis On Dancing With The Stars“.

“I really want to do this for GLBT youth,” Louganis told me this morning. “Being on Dancing With The Stars is more than me being on the show, it sends a positive message — an ‘It Gets Better’ message. And that message is still important- kids are still losing hope. I want to do what I can for them.”

There have been gay men on DWTS before — Lance Bass, Carson Cressley and Louis Amstel — and Chaz Bono broke the transgender barrier last season. But if his bid is successful, Louganis would be the first openly HIV positive contestant. And it’s about time, say HIV activists.

“In a generation that is trying to end AIDS, it’s great to have openly HIV positive sports figures like Greg Louganis in the spot light,” said Tom Donohue, founder and executive director of Who’s Positive, an HIV/AIDS advocacy and awareness organization.

“Not only can his presence be a reminder for folks to be tested, his appearance on ‘Dancing With The Stars’ can reemphasize how those living with HIV/AIDS can live normal and active lives.” said Donohue, who is also on the board of directors for The National Association of People with AIDS (NAPWA).

Time will tell if this Facebook movement will work — but if the producers are recruiting Tim Tebow — it seems only fair.

Louganis’ Facebook campaign page is here.

ABC has cancelled the series “Work It” after only two episodes. The series debuted on January 3, 2012 to low ratings, and, according to Entertainment Weekly, dropped another 20 percent this week.

“While many of ABC’s positive and groundbreaking portrayals of LGBT people have been critical and popular successes, the public had little interest in this outdated show,” said Herndon Graddick, Senior Director of Programs and Communications at GLAAD.

GLAAD, together with many advocates including Autumn Sandeen, and other LGBT organizations including HRC, the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, the Transgender Economic Empowerment Initiative and the Transgender Law Center spoke out against the series for its potential to cause harm to the transgender community. Women’s advocacy groups and members of the Puerto Rican community have also criticized the show’s premise and jokes.

While the show did not explicitly address transgender people, many viewers unfamiliar with the realities of being transgender will still make the connection.

According to ABC, ‘Work It’ centered on two unemployed men who have “learned the hard way that the current recession is more of a ‘man-cession’ and their skills aren’t in high demand.” One finds out that a pharmaceuticals company is hiring sales reps, but only female sales reps. He goes to the interview dressed in heels, a skirt, and makeup and gets hired as a woman.

Last month, after viewing the pilot, GLAAD placed a full page ad in media industry publication Variety with HRC. The organizations also published a joint opinion piece on the Huffington Post. View the ad here.

The Variety ad noted that “by encouraging the audience to laugh at the characters’ attempts at womanhood, the show gives license to similar treatment of transgender women.”

GLAAD and HRC included photos of transgender Americans, legal facts and statistics from a recent report from the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force on the discrimination that transgender Americans face:

• Transgender Americans can be legally fired in 34 states today simply for being who they are.
  • 97% of self-identified transgender people reported being harassed or abused at work.
• 26 percent reported losing their jobs because they are transgender.

“As a result of this campaign, an important dialogue has been started in Hollywood and mainstream media about the real discrimination faced by transgender people today,” GLAAD’s Herndon Graddick said.

“Consistently, over the past three decades, researchers have found that the daughters and sons of same-sex parents are psychologically well-adjusted. And now our new data demonstrate that 17-year-olds raised from birth by lesbian mothers are as happy as their peers,” said lead author Loes van Gelderen, MSc, University of Amsterdam.

The study also found, among teens with lesbian mothers, no difference in quality of life based on donor status (whether they had been conceived by known or unknown donors), experienced stigmatization (whether or not they had experienced discrimination), or maternal relationship continuity (whether their mothers were still together or had separated).

“The favorable outcomes for these adolescents are a reflection of good parenting by mothers who prepared their daughters and sons for the prospect of adversity,” said Principal Investigator Nanette Gartrell, MD, of the Williams Institute.

In the study, Quality of Life of Adolescents Raised From Birth by Lesbian Mothers, 78 17-year-olds with lesbian mothers were matched on gender, age, parental education, and ethnic background with adolescents in heterosexual-parent families that were drawn from a representative statewide sample.

The adolescents in both groups gave a numerical score (0 = minimum; 10= maximum) to each of a series of statements such as, “I feel I’m getting along with my parents/guardians,” “I look forward to the future,” and ”I feel good about myself.”

The adolescents with lesbian mothers responded generally in the same way as the teenagers with heterosexual parents.

The data in the new report comes from adolescents whose families are participants in the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), the longest-running and largest prospective investigation of lesbian mothers and their children in the United States.

McNichol, 49, who has lived with her partner Martie Allen, also 49, for the past two decades, said she decided to reveal her sexual orientation because she is “approaching 50″ and wants to “be open about who I am,” reported People magazine.

McNichol said that by coming out, she hopes to inspire children who are dealing with bullies.

She “is very sad about kids being bullied,” her publicist, Jeff Ballard, told People. “She hopes that coming out can help kids who need support. She would like to help others who feel different.”

McNichol has also starred in several films, including “Little Darlings” in 1980 with Tatum O’Neal.

In 1992, McNichol was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and subsequently ended her television career.

“She is very happy and healthy,” Ballard said. “And she enjoys living a very private life.”

via TwitPic

Johnny Weir and Victor Voronov

In an interview with Lynn Rutherford and posted on Ice Network last Thursday, Weir made the pre-wedding announcement:

“I’m getting married on New Year’s Eve,” he said. “His name is Victor [Voronov], he’s kind of everything that I’ve ever looked for and aspired to be in a relationship with. We’ve known each other for a long time and we reconnected over the summer, and it’s just been a whirlwind.

“I’m very happy with my personal life and also my professional life, and I thank God I can be exactly where I’m at.”

[...]

“He’s wonderful. He’s totally not in my field at all.”

Ice Network

Following the exchange of vows, Weir tweeted, “I’m Married.” Voronov retweeted his husband’s sentiments, adding that he was “ringing in the New Year with my new hubby!”

Weir, 27, who had been famous for remaining silent about his private life, came out as a gay man only a year ago, despite the neverending swirl of rumors about his sexuality over the course of his professional career as a figure skater.

Ricky Martin and Carlos Gonzalez Abella

A source close to the singer revealed to The New Day that Ricky and his partner Carlos Gonzalez Abella will be married on Saturday January 28th at a ceremony to be held in the city of New York.

Since announcing his homosexuality in March 2010, Ricky has been in favor of marriage between same sex. Even came to express their desire that in Puerto Rico to legislate for such purposes.

“It’s what I want, that you say no to discrimination, for equality among us humans is a reality in my country,” Martin said last June, who is speculated that he had accepted the citizenship granted by the government Spain in November with the intention to marry in that country.

El Nuevo Dia

Martin, 40, made his first public statements about his relationship with Abella at the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) Awards in March 2011, saying, “Today I can say that I am free and, therefore, definitely I have to thank my parents for supporting me so much and for their unconditional love, my friends, my family, my fans and my partner and boyfriend, Carlos.”

Martin came out on March 29, 2010.

On July 24, New York state became the sixth and most populous U.S. state to legalize gay marriage.

The men and women at Silver Lake’s Black Cat, a small gay bar, were awaiting that magical moment — that second where men and women around the world make that declaration of love to enter the new year.

The seconds ticked to zero, and like millions of others, the couples at the Black Cat locked lips and welcomed 1967.

At that moment, at least eight plainclothes officers emerged from the crowd and began viciously beating and arresting the kissing couples. As these kisses constituted criminal “lewd conduct,” the arrests and the raid on the bar were seen as legal.

The officers refused to identify themselves as the violence escalated and they began ripping holiday decorations from the walls. A bartender was dragged by the police over and across the bar through broken shards of glass. A customer had his head bashed into a jukebox and was then arrested.

Nearby, at the New Faces bar, similar attacks and arrests were occurring.

When the female co-owner and asked police for identification, she was mistaken for a man in drag (another arrestable offense) and pistol whipped so badly that she had to be hospitalized.

Robert Haas, a 120-pound waiter came from the back of the bar to help. He was dragged into the street and beaten so severely that his jaw was broken and his spleen ruptured. He was then booked and charged for felony assault against a police officer before being taken to Los Angeles County General Hospital for treatment.

Six Black Cat kissers were tried and convicted of “lewd or dissolute conduct in a public place”, which consisted of male couples hugging and kissing. According to the police report, one couple had “kissed on the mouth for three to five seconds.”

Two years prior to the Stonewall Uprising, these events energized the LGBT community to begin fighting back. They raised money for a legal defense fund and successfully fought the police and the charges in the courts. Additionally, they were able to get some of the mainstream media on their side.

The telling of our stories in a public forum helped turn the tide for San Francisco to finally elect someone like Harvey Milk to public office.

As we enter 2012, spend some time being grateful for the enormous strides we’ve made – specifically in 2011. But don’t forget that we have a long way to go. Keep telling your stories as we move ahead and keep talking about equality.

Happy New Year!

About the Author:

The controversy began earlier this week when New York-based gay blogger Andy Towle detailed the contents of King’s calendar, which includes jokes about AIDS and gay lifestyles, and negative stereotyping of gay men.

“This calendar has no business being sold and supported by reputable retailers,” said Herndon Graddick, Senior Director of Programs and Communications for GLAAD, in an e-mail statement. “King has a right to his opinions, however anti-gay or anti-transgender they may be, but retailers also have the right to decide that they don’t want to support hateful and dehumanizing content like this.”

Barnes & Noble has since yanked the calendar for sale on its website, and a spokesperson for the company told GLAAD that it has never been made available in its retail stores. Amazon has also removed the item.

The calendar — which is dedicated to the memory of the U.S. revolutionary hero Paul Revere, and to gay rights opponent Anita Bryant — promises “12 months of sexual confusion” and has drawn staunch criticism for what many some deemed homophobic humor and imagery, including one illustration which appears to poke fun at the HIV/AIDS crisis.

Another cartoon is a parody of Revere, showing him on horseback shouting, “The sodomites are coming! The sodomites are coming!”

Few in the LGBT community are laughing about the calendar and as the fury built, its author hit back at critics.

King, a member of the Christian Comic Art Society, took to his Facebook page writing in defense of his work.

“I feel like David vs. the gay Goliath,” King writes in one post. In another, he adds, “All the hysteria is coming from those nice folks who haven’t bothered to actually purchase and read my collection. Stranger still — these are REPRINTS of nationally distributed work several years old. No outcry then.”

Critics were quick to point out this post in which King writes:

The “truth” is that AIDS is an “elective” disease. It STOPS the day guys quit sticking it to each other. And for the tragedy of women and children infected… THAT stops the day their gay husbands and fathers stop cheating on them. Anyone need MORE education, science or funding to understand THAT?

King, responding angrily to complaints, and commented: “Hoo-we! Hell hath no fury like a he/she scorned… The telephone tree of tantrums is lit up like a Las Vegas marquee for ‘Boy-Lesque’ today with hate mail, threats of boycott and even the risk of Jesus spitting on me for my ‘Sissy’ calendar.”

“Aint the first time I’ve been banned – won’t be the last,” King wrote to his Facebook followers on Tursday. “I was born with a loud mouth and an itchy shirt, bury me next to the Baptist. [sic]“

“Come inside,” he commanded, as he turned and held the door open for her.

Carol entered the shop and was amazed to see it was empty, with rows of cages along each wall.

“It is you, isn’t it, Marty?”

“Yes Carol, it is. I have wanted to talk to you for ever so long, but they wouldn’t let me.”

“They?” she questioned, “Who are “they”, and what happened to you? You disappeared without warning me.”

“I know I should have; I would have let you know, but I only was offered this position recently and thought, no, hoped, I would run into you. I couldn’t visit you or go looking for you since I cannot go further than the awning over the door.”

“Oh, you’re not making sense, Marty, but then you never were much good at making sense. All you ever wanted was to…”

“…to make money and look after you and the baby. I could never have made sense or anything worthwhile, not that I did; my greed was my undoing.”

“What on Earth are you talking about, Marty, and what about this pet store with all its empty cages? You must be doing quite well if you’ve sold all your stock of cats and dogs. Do you have birds too?”

“No, birds aren’t meant to be in cages, Carol. Cats and dogs get set free in their new homes but birds are usually kept in cages. But these cages are not empty due to the sale of what was in them. Each of those cages represents one Christmas.”

“You are mad,” said Carol.

“Yes, I was, but I see things differently now. Look upon those cages over there,” Marty said, as he pointed to one wall of cages with locks on them. “Each of them is a Christmas passed; ones I missed having with you and Bobby.”

Carol was becoming a little afraid. She began to think that Marty might have escaped from a mental institution, but she couldn’t work out how he could then have a shop.

“What about those cages over there? They have locks on them too, are they also yours?” she asked.

“No, those are the cages of your Christmases; all the ones you missed sharing with others. And before you ask about these unlocked cages along the other wall, they are the cages of your Christmases yet to come.”

Carol was now really becoming frightened by Marty, and his words. Edging her way towards the door she tried to distract Marty with, “And what about the kitten in the window?”

“The kitten is waiting to see if it has a home this Christmas, or not.”

“Marty, can I call someone for you. I think you need help,” said Carol.

“Carol, I am not the one who needs help. I am beyond help. This is the only thing I have ever done to help you, or anyone other than myself. I am trying to show you that your life is going to be an empty cage unless you open up your heart to those who love you. I didn’t, and it has left me terribly alone.”

Carol swayed a little from the intensity of Marty’s message. She could hardly believe any of this was real, let alone aimed at her. Marty could see she did not believe him. With his hands, he gestured towards the door.

“Carol, if you do not want to save yourself then look at how your miserable life will affect others.”

The door to the pet shop flew open and a small figure of a young man staggered in. He fell to the floor, shaking and shuddering, blood stains around his mouth, his eyes vacant, glazed and turning lifeless. His skin was becoming as grey as it was pale.

Carol looked away. Marty grabbed her by the arm. “Look Carol. Do you know who this is?”

“No,” she quavered, “I’ve never seen him before.”

“Look again,” insisted Marty.

“No, I don’t I know him.”

“Carol, please,” pleaded Marty. “Please, for our son’s sake, come closer, and look deliberately upon the face of this boy.”

Hesitatingly, Carol approached the figure lying on the floor boards of the shop. The wind whistled through the spaces between the floor boards, and a freezing wind gusted through the door, dropping icy crystals on the boy’s threadbare clothing. She leaned down and almost fearfully touched his hand, shivering from the reality.

“It’s Robert’s friend, Jim. But Marty, what is he doing here?”

“He is going to die, Carol. He will die because you will drive him away by ignoring our son’s love for Jim.”

“I wouldn’t do that, I have never stopped Robert from being with him.”

“But you never make him welcome either. You have barely accepted our son, and never his friend; you just ignore him in the hope that he will go away, leaving you to your greed. This boy is who Bobby loves,” said Marty as he pointed to the frozen figure on the floor.

“This boy loves our son and if you drive him away he will die. He will fall ill and die from a broken heart. Need I tell you what that will do to Bobby?”

Marty raised his hands again towards the door.

“Stop!” cried Carol. “Don’t show me, just tell me what I have to do.”

“I cannot tell you Carol, you must work out what is right and do it. Look to see me no more,” intoned Marty as the body of the youth grew paler and faded away; Marty himself faded as a white mist filled the room.

Carol heard the kitten mewling and rushed to pick it up.

The sunlight streamed through Carol’s bedroom window, but it was the sound of a kitten meowing that had awoken her. Quickly she rushed to the window and opened it. She saw the next door neighbour’s boy riding a new bicycle that he must have gotten for Christmas.

“You there, boy,” she called out.

“Me ma’am?” he called back.

“Yes, you. What day is it?”

“Today?”

“Yes, today. What is it?”

“Why…it’s Christmas day of course.”

“Thank you,” she said, “and boy? Merry Christmas to you.”

She looked at the clock, it was 9 a.m. She’d have to hurry. Quickly she rang Robert on his mobile phone.

“What did she want? I suppose you have to rush home or to her shop,” said Jim.

“No,” said Bobby, “She wants us to meet her out front as soon as we can. She wants to take us to lunch for Christmas.”

“Us?” asked Jim.

“Yes, both of us, and…”

“and?”

“…and she called me Bobby.”

Happily Jim did not fall ill and he and Bobby are still together. The kitten adopted them, and has grown into a beautiful cat that sleeps with them both on the foot of their bed in Carol’s house.

Carol eventually found Marty’s grave where she placed a floral tribute. She still doesn’t understand all that happened that night in the Shoppe of Christmas Pets. She makes sure to celebrate the spirit of Christmas every day and will always remember Marty when he spoke to her on that Christmas Eve.

On Christmas Day, Carol embraced Jim’s and Bobby’s love for each other, and when Jim looked into Bobby’s eyes he wished out loud, “May our love be accepted by everyone.”

The cat purred contentedly on top of the bed, not a cage to be seen.

Carol Cage worked long hours, right up to Christmas Eve and then finally had to rush around to get everything done.

She got out of bed and went to her en suite bathroom. She changed her mind and went to her bedroom door and opened it. She had made a habit of closing it to avoid overhearing her son and his friend in bed again.

She had heard them that first night some three months ago, when they came home late from the movies.

Her son, her illegitimate son, was in a relationship with another boy.

She told herself it didn’t matter. She was almost not surprised. After all she had been through, what else could go wrong for her?

It was eighteen years ago that her boyfriend had gotten her pregnant and then left her; left her alone to fend for herself. She never heard from him again, leaving her holding a baby boy that she never wanted. Despite that, she had worked hard and succeeded in building up a business that provided a nice income for her and ‘the kid’, as she thought of him.

Of course she never wasted money on him, only buying the essentials he needed for school. She was hardly the best mother in the world, but she fed and clothed him, giving him everything except the one thing he needed.

“Robert!” she yelled, from her now open bedroom door. She never acknowledged her son’s friend. It was like he wasn’t there. “Robert it’s time to get up.”

Robert and his friend, Jim, were jarred awake.

“Does she have to yell like that? What time is it Bobby?” Robert insisted on being called Bobby. He hated being called Robert, but he couldn’t stop his mother from using the name she had assigned to him.

“It’s seven a.m., I have to get up. Sorry Jim, but you know I have to do whatever she wants. It’s the only way I can get to go to college.” He leaned over his boyfriend and kissed him on the lips, and he asked him, “What are you doing today?”

“Waiting for her to finish with you, of course. Have you spoken to her about tomorrow yet?”

“No, not yet.” Bobby looked guilty as he made his confession. Jim wanted him to spend Christmas day with him. He had his own apartment a few streets away and longed to spend an entire day with Bobby. The two boys had never been able to manage an entire day alone. Bobby’s Mother had always seen to that, even though she never said anything to him.

“Robert!” yelled his mother, yet again.

“Robert,” mimicked Jim, “Mother calls. Why does she call you Robert? Everyone calls you Bobby.”

“That’s why; she knows I prefer Bobby, so she calls me Robert. Now, let’s get out of bed before she starts pounding on the damned door.”

The boys quickly showered together and dressed. Jim left forlornly, knowing he wouldn’t be fed, and Bobby went into the kitchen. His breakfast was waiting for him on the bar where they had all their meals. His mother’s perfectly good dining room was never used.

“Hurry up and eat Robert, I need to be out of here in ten minutes,” she said.

“Yes, Carol,” he said. He was not being disrespectful calling his mother by her first name. She insisted on it. She did not want to think of herself as a mother, at all.

Fifteen minutes later they were at her shop. Carol’s Flower Shoppe.

“Now Robert, I want you to sweep the floor again, and then tidy the store room. You know I must be able to see the stock. After that you will need to enter the deliveries into the computer. They should arrive by eleven.”

They worked hard all day serving many last minute customers and often Bobby had to make deliveries.

‘Twas the end of the day before he grasped his courage, “Carol?”

‘What?” She snapped at him.

“I was wondering, if I, err…”

“What is it? We don’t have all day. I have to get home to do the accounts.”

“Well, tomorrow is Christmas, and I wondering if I could, I could…”

“Spend it with ‘what’s his name’, I suppose. Is that what you’re trying to ask?”

“Please. It’s only one day,” he said.

“And what about the shop? Who’s going to take care of the plants?”

“Please, Mom, it’s Christmas.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sorry…Carol.”

She looked at him and for a moment felt a twinge of motherhood rearing its ugly head and for some unknown reason she relented as she looked into his eyes. “Oh all right, I’ll see to them, but be sure to mop the work room before you leave tonight, do you hear me?”

“Yes, I will.”

“All right, then you can go,” she said, with a slight hesitation that did not go unnoticed by Bobby.

“But will you be okay?” he asked his mother suddenly feeling some concern at the thought of her being alone on Christmas Day.

“Don’t worry about me. It is just another day as far as I am concerned except for fewer customers. But you have a good day with your friend, and mind you’re early the day after.”

“I will, and Carol?” He paused until she turned and looked at him…

“Merry Christmas, Mom. Ho, Ho, Ho!”

Bobby quickly turned and ran into the work room. His mother grimaced and sighed as she left the shop, muttering to herself, “Merry Christmas, stuff and nonsense…Ho, Ho, Hokum.”

Carol’s grimace changed into what might pass as a smile in a different time, as she walked home. She could have asked Bobby to drive her, but she didn’t want to waste the extra fuel.

As she walked along the street she noticed a kitten in a window of a pet shop she had not seen before. She stopped to look at the playful kitten, wondering what its fate would be when it was no longer cute. She looked up the sign over the door, “Shoppe of Christmas Pets.” “How peculiar,” she thought, “that anyone would open a pet shop just for Christmas Eve.”

Unexpectedly, a man carrying a thin grey complexion appeared at the door. Carol felt his presence and turned her head to gaze upon him. She thought he seemed familiar, and it made her vaguely uncomfortable, but she dismissed it, until he spoke.

“Hello Carol,” he said.

Knowing how you feel, and knowing who you are, are concepts that we all wish to keep open; at the risk of going insane, that is.

Sometimes, however, we find ourselves in those situations where we can’t reveal who we are completely, where we can’t open ourselves up, and where we can’t speak up.

It’s time for me to speak up.

My name is Jeremy, I’m 17, and I live in one of the most conservative regions in the world. I’m a good student, and I’m an athlete. Yes, I play sports, and… I’m into dudes. At any given time of the year, you will find me either: running track or playing football.

Coming out where I live is genuinely impossible given my circumstances. Not only is my region extremely close minded, not only is my father a religious fanatic and minister, but I play one of the most stereotypical “man” sports possible.

I’ve played football on the varsity level since freshmen year. Like most everyone else, I put my heart and soul into every never-ending practice and game each Friday night. I’m the last person anyone would ever associate as being into the same sex.

I suppose I’ve known for quite sometime I like dudes, but I wouldn’t even consider the possibility.

I went through so many internal fights, that even to this day I struggle with coping. I found myself hating who I am. Knowing that if I even gave one ounce of indication I might be gay, my entire school, family, and team would disown me, hurts tons.

Now, I consider myself a strong person, it’s just this one aspect of who I am, really… Doesn’t resonate well where I live.

Lately I’ve began to accept myself more, and it’s becoming so much easier to deal with the me-being-into-dudes part.

After searching the web, and reading about others, it finally occurred to me that I’m NOT alone. I suppose I always knew there were other teens like me, but they were always nameless and faceless. You really don’t know how much better you feel, when… You can relate to someone.

I know that I have to start standing up for who I am, and while it’s honestly impossible for me to come out, actually being comfortable enough in myself to talk about it, really helps.

One day I will make a difference, by showing people and helping break that stereotype even further. Yes, I’m into guys. Yes, I was an athlete, and yeah… I probably kicked your ass on that field.

So maybe, by sharing my story, someone else going through what I am could see it and know that they’re not alone, like I always thought I was.

And maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to stand together one day, and make a difference.

One Colorado, a statewide LGBT advocacy group, has launched a new program to facilitate the creation of gay-straight alliances in Colorado schools and secure safe school environments for all students.

A comprehensive website with resources for students, parents, teachers and school administrators — Colorado GSA Network — is a focal point for the Colorado Gay-Straight Alliance Network.

“More than any other group, LGBT students are the repeated targets of bullying, harassment and even violence in our schools,” said Brad Clark, executive director of One Colorado. “The Colorado GSA Network will combat bullying and harassment against LGBT young people by bringing students together, providing them with tools, and empowering them to start and grow Gay-Straight Alliances in their schools.”

For Daniel Ramos, program manager for the GSA network, the purpose of this program is to help students organize.

“We hear all the time that students feel they are the only ones doing this work,” he said. “We want to develop a new generation of young leaders who will share skills with each other. It’s a student-driven program.”

The GSA Network not only focuses on developing gay-straight alliances in their schools, but also trains youth to advocate for safe school policies.

Resources available on the website include a guide detailing how to combat bullying, a handbook explaining how to start a GSA, and a guide to initiating programming to build an effective organization through activities such as team building. Links to Colorado and national resources are provided, some of which are directed to students, while others are aimed at educators and administrators.
The website also includes a comprehensive list of every GSA in Colorado by school.

Denver’s Mayor Michael Hancock, along with Sens. Mark Udall and Michael Bennet, and other community leaders, are shown in a video for the “Make it better” campaign.

“Research shows that gay-straight alliances make schools safer for LGBT young people by providing a safe space for students to be themselves and alleviating the isolation that LGBT youth often experience,” said Ramos.

“It is critical that we address the pervasive problem of bullying against Colorado’s most vulnerable young people,” he said.

The program launched a few months ago in schools in Grand Junction, Buena Vista, Colorado Springs and other spots with interest from local school officials. “We’ve seen a positive reception from teachers, administrators and parents who are committed to seeing LGBT students, and those perceived to be LGBT, safe in their schools,” Ramos said.

Not all the activity will be online. Student Lobby Day, which will send students to the state Capitol to lobby legislators while they are in session, is set for Feb. 27, 2012. A statewide leadership summit is also in the works, as is a student leadership council to voice student concerns.

Applications for the leadership council are available on the website.

One Colorado’s GSA Network is similar to another online LGBT youth resource, Matthew’s Place, a website run by the Matthew Shepard Foundation. While the GSA Network focuses on organizing students within Colorado to combat bullying, Matthew’s Place is more broadly based geographically and offers support on a variety of LGBT issues.