I didn’t come out until I was 50. In those 50 years I lied, cheated on a husband, denied who I was and tried desperately to be the daughter, sister, wife, cousin, friend that I was expected to be. It didn’t work – it never works. And those who believe that to be gay is a choice we make, well, they will never, ever understand the struggle that takes place within most of our souls. Truthfully, most people believe that just saying the words “I’m gay” means you’ve come out. In a sense it does, however, the real coming out, in my opinion, is when you look at that reflection you see in the mirror and say “I’m Gay” and you don’t look away in shame – that’s when you’ve come out.