Know Thy Enemy

This man grew up to be one of our greatest foes. Guess who it is.

Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson

“I want to be part of God’s plan of what He is doing on Earth, and want to bring Him glory.”

It sounds like a spelling sentence written by a Sunday school student bereft of gold stars and left to  languish at “the brown table.”

But no, it’s the personal mission statement of right-wing raconteur Pat Robertson, host of The 700 Club, an eerie Christian “news program” that has been running since April 1, 1966.

On the show, which airs in syndication throughout America, Robertson makes a point of regularly antagonizing “thrusty” homosexuals, who he suspects want to “stick it to Christians.”

Although he admits the sight of gay couples makes him vomit, he balks at being called antigay — because he’s confident that gays are just confused straight people.

Homosexuals can’t find love,” he’s fond of saying. “But God can cure that.”

Pat-Robertson

In fact, barely a week goes by that he doesn’t have something fiendish and wily to say about gays, lesbians, and transgender people (who he thinks are frauds and compares unfavorably to his castrated horse.)

He believes God not only exists, but that He’s a vengeful God; a jerky kind of God who will angrily bankrupt America for allowing gay marriage. Oh, and there’s no way gay marriage can be legitimate, because no one’s ever conceived a child through anal intercourse.

It gets worse. He’s confident that marriage equality has unleashed an unstoppable tide of evil; one that will lead to the legalization of bestiality. And that’s on his good days. In less lucid moments, he believes gay marriage is still illegal.

He strongly suspects that gays will never be happy; that they’re vindictive and only want to take away everyone else’s freedom. In fact, “so-called gay people” were most likely molested and recruited into homosexuality — and now they’re extraordinarily eager to recruit your children, too. But there but for the grace of God, he has faith that gays can change just like murderers and rapists do.

But they’d better repent quickly, because they’re really up to no good. In fact, Robertson believes there’s a nefarious cabal of gays in San Francisco who cut people’s fingers with special rings in order to infect them with AIDS.

The 700 Club airs three times daily on the ABC Family Channel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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