Life

Judges reject motions by man who wants to marry his ‘porn-filled computer’

Judges reject motions by man who wants to marry his ‘porn-filled computer’

A federal judge and a U.S. appeals court have rejected a Tennessee man’s motion to intervene in two cases challenging same-sex marriage bans in Florida and Utah by seeking to marry his “porn-filled Apple computer.”

Chris Sevier
Chris Sevier

Nashville attorney and combat veteran Mark “Chris” Sevier filed the motion to intervene in the cases on behalf of “other minority sexual orientation groups,” reports the Broward Palm Beach New Times.

Sevier says that if same-sex couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.”

Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I ‘fell in love’ with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.

In the Utah filing, Sevier added:

Those of us whose sexual orientation has been classically conditioned upon orgasm through the straight forward science of dopamine to prefer sex with inanimate objects and animals do not have public support, like the gays, so we are especially vulnerable here.

Sevier also claims that “sexual orientation” never existed as a classification until President Barack Obama began advancing a “social agenda to make America a ‘gay nation'” and wants the courts to “put up or shut up” on the gay marriage issue.

Sevier has a history of clogging the legal system with frivolous lawsuits, adds the New Times.

In 2013, he sued Apple because it sold him a computer without telling him about the evils of porn, and A&E after it suspended Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson following an anti-gay rant in an interview in GQ magazine.

In 2013, he was arrested and charged with two counts of aggravated stalking and one count of criminal impersonation after being accused of stalking country music singer John Rich and then stalking a 17-year-old girl separately from the music star. He is awaiting trial, which is scheduled for October.

In 2011, Sevier was suspended from practicing law in Tennessee in 2011 due to “mental infirmity or illness,” according to records from the Tennessee Board of Professional Responsibility.

In Florida, U.S. District Judge Robert Hinkle wrote in an April 24 ruling that Sevier’s “motion has no place in this lawsuit.”

In the Utah case, the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit on Monday also denied Sevier’s motion to intervene.

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