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New Mexico

Bullied N.M. gay teen posts suicide note online before taking his own life

Carlos Vigil: 'The kids in school are right, I am a loser, a freak and a fag and in no way is that acceptable for people to deal with'
Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Updated: 2:00 p.m. MDT

LAS LUNAS, N.M. — An openly gay New Mexico high school student who spoke out against bullying died Tuesday after his family removed him from life support following a suicide attempt over the weekend.

Carlos Vigil

Carlos Vigil, 17, posted a suicide note online on Saturday where he described being the target of bullying, and wrote, “The kids in school are right, I am a loser, a freak and a fag and in no way is that acceptable for people to deal with.”

His father rushed home when he heard about it, but it was too late.

Family members said Monday that Carlos had been suffering from the effects of bullying since elementary school and that they had transferred him from one local high school to another due to the constant strain of being targeted, reported KRQE-TV.

Carlos’ mother, Jacqueline Vigil, said her son was involved in Youth and Government and tried to push for stronger anti-bullying laws, but his own experience with bullying became too much.

She said Carlos had been bullied since he was 8 years-old, and was picked on for everything from his weight and acne to his glasses.

In the suicide note posted on Twitter, Carlos wrote:

I’m sorry to those who I offended over the years. I’m blind to see that I, as a human being, suck. I’m an individual who is doing an injustice to the world and it’s time for me to leave. Please don’t ever feel sorry for me, or cry – because I had an opportunity at life and that opportunity is over. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to love someone or have someone love me. I guess it’s best though, because now I leave no pain onto anyone. The kids in school are right, I am a loser, a freak, and a fag and in no way is that acceptable for people to deal with. I’m sorry for not being a person that would make someone proud.

I’m free now. Xoxo.
Carlos

“My son, he didn’t deserve this …” said Jacqueline Vigil. “He is not here because of bullying. It drove him over the edge.”

On Monday, dozens of classmates showed up at the hospital where Carlos was on life support.

“Even though now Carlos is gone, we need to focus on what he left trying to say, that bullying is a problem,” said Alyssa Cisneros, a former classmate at Valley High School.

Posting on his Twitter account early Tuesday morning, Carlos’ family wrote: “Carlos is finally at peace! Thank you everyone for your support and prayers. Please don’t forget what he wanted STOP THE BULLYING’

Carlos died at 1:47 a.m. after being removed from life support and having his organs donated.

Update: On Tuesday afternoon, his family reported that Carlos’ kidneys had been successfully accepted by a recipient. “He now lives thru others,” they tweeted.


Editor’s Note: If you or a young person you know is LGBT and thinking about suicide, call The Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. For adults over 24, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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71 more reader comments:

  1. Tragedy. :´(

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:28pm
  2. It MUST stop – we can´t afford to lose one more!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:28pm
  3. =( Soo sad we need to do more to help prevent this,there is too much of it. Sympathies to his family

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:28pm
  4. such a shame, :( bulling is no cool!!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:29pm
  5. Dislike.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:30pm
  6. That poor sweet kid, heart goes out to the family that must now live without their son.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:30pm
  7. Our schools need to start going after the bullies, instead of giving them a free pass and rewarding them for being part of the social norm. You hear about all of these victim´s suicides, but you never hear about the assholes getting into trouble.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:31pm
  8. This must stop!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:31pm
  9. :((( … my sincere condolences to all his family and friends.. He chose to leave but his spirit will return stronger than ever!! <3 namaste.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:33pm
  10. So wrong .. just absolutely so wrong. If this had been going on for so long why did the authorities in schools and other institutions take stronger action.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:33pm
  11. my heart goes out to the family

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:33pm
  12. =(, yea at my school I hear kids that speak openly about being gay , and I´ve seen many kids who are trans. But sadly we still have kids who are openly against the community ;/ it´s sad… =´( RIP

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:34pm
  13. This is a result of mass programming. People who have been indoctrinated to believe in what society seems as acceptable or not acceptable.
    I DEMAND that school officials be held responsible.
    I DEMAND that school system create a successful program that kicks out bullies.
    Children/teens should feel SAFE and PROTECTED at school and in their communities!!!
    This is Enough!!!! I´m so fired up.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:36pm
  14. rip

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:41pm
  15. tragic

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:43pm
  16. So right Erika. There needs to be accountability. How many more? And what about the parents of bullies? Shouldn´t they be held accountable for their children´s behavior? WTF????

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:44pm
  17. All you hear at my school are kids walking around saying “That´s gay!” and call each other “fags” regularly. I even heard of a teacher doing it. Students get in trouble for not being in dress code, for not wearing an ID, for skipping class, etc., but the majority of staff will sit back and let these kids go unpunished for saying things like this. Schools can´t teach religion, they can´t discuss their personal political beliefs, but I´ll be damned if they can´t fucking teach basic human rights.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:45pm
  18. How many kids my age have to die before out nation learns that bullying is NOT okay?

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:47pm
  19. Our society needs to clean itself up, and stop perpetuating this kind of bullying and stupidity!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:47pm
  20. :(

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:52pm
  21. SAd

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:55pm
  22. The schools need to step up and the parents need to let them. Back when I was in school bullying was not ok the cops would even bust us at the park across the street from school. Kids actualy got suspended and busted for it. Now the schools and teachers would rather blame it on the kid getting bullied instead of bust someone. It happen to my little girl on a bus I put an end to it right quick till this day that child that got in trouble glares at me and they are now only in 3rd grade! But as a parent I wont stand for it for any reason. My wife and I have taught her to be herself and stand up for her family and herself and her friends and that is exactly what she does!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 3:57pm
  23. Poor kid :´C This hating bullshit needs to stop one way or another, and personally I think the only solution to the hating is some form of disciplinary pain or jail time no matter the age of the person. The schools need to set an example of the assholes!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 4:23pm
  24. So sad. When will it end?

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 4:24pm
  25. This Breakspear heart

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 4:27pm
  26. Very sad

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 4:30pm
  27. may he rest in peace :(

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 4:38pm
  28. It´s sad and unfortunate. Now he´s famous and some other kid will be a copycat. :(

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 4:40pm
  29. Its so sad to live in a world that your hated just for your sexuality.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 4:46pm
  30. this shit will keep happening until the school districts train their staff LGBT student numbers are only going to grow as more and more state governments legalize Gay marriage and pass same sex civil rights laws. and the school districts also kneed to pass zero tolerance policy’s on bullying of any student Gay, Straight side ways it dose not matter no one deserves to be picked on.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 5:01pm
  31. What twisted fuck would “like” this kind of tragedy?????? My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of this young man.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 5:03pm
  32. My heart is breaking for this boy´s family, for this poor beautiful boy who was in such despair that he ended his own life, and for the people who continue to be bullied each day. Equal rights for all, it doesn´t matter, we are all human, we all want the same thing: happiness, love, and to live without fear.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 5:11pm
  33. Baby No! this is so sad

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 5:23pm
  34. STOP OUR LIVES ARE ALSO VALUABLE!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 5:46pm
  35. @Bruce very true its a domino effect just like what happened back in 2010

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 5:48pm
  36. Damn it.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 5:55pm
  37. so sad :(

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 5:57pm
  38. how sad!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 5:59pm
  39. this angers me, I cant even being to understand why people pick on others because they are gay or different then the ´norm´. no one should feel like they need to take their life or that no one loves them… this is a true tragedy and my heart goes out to everyone he left behind… this needs to stop…

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:01pm
  40. So heartbreaking. May he rest in peace.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:02pm
  41. HIS DEATH WILL NOT BE THE last.wHEN WIL IT END IF IT EVER DOES.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:11pm
  42. His death will not be the last.When will it end if it ever does.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:11pm
  43. this breaks my heart.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:15pm
  44. Sad.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:17pm
  45. This is a problem that is not going away anytime soon, something needs to be done!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:18pm
  46. how sad that hate exiosts.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:21pm
  47. Terrible…no human being on earth should be made to feel worthless like this!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:30pm
  48. Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:32pm
  49. This is so incredibly sad! R.I.P. Carlos Vigil!

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:37pm
  50. i have no problem with this report. i find it hard to comprehend that ALL bullying is directed at LGBT youth. is there some statistical break down on this ? teens can be insensitive and bullying about a number of issues.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:49pm
  51. There will no street demonstrations for someone like that….

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:49pm
  52. Just still too much real hate going on. “I´ve been through the desert on a horse with no name”

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:55pm
  53. Rest Easy Angel <3

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 7:06pm
  54. Dan Leonard, no offense, but you´re not there to witness it. Feel it. Deal with it. I´ve been bullied as well in my teens and partly because of my sexual orientation. It´s unacceptable. You don´t believe it because you don´t see it. But trust me it´s there. Everyday. All day. Just look around.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 7:07pm
  55. @Samantha, I think you´ve misunderstood Dan´s post. I think he´s asking how much more bullying is directed at LGBT youth versus non-LGBT youth.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 7:13pm
  56. Omg another mother suffering for no reason what so ever the ignorance has to stop. Rest in peace and may the angels bring you to rests at our lords side.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 7:39pm
  57. Heart breaking – Rest peacefully Carlos.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 7:40pm
  58. when is something REAL going to get done about this??? pray for his soul , this wasnt his fault…you can only take so much before you break….im sorry buddy, God help you.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 8:13pm
  59. SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER, WALK AWAY AND STAY AWAY IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT TO KILL YOURSELF IS TO GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS AND HURT ALL THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU…GET HELP. CALL SOMEONE , AND IF YOU SEE SOMEONE IN THIS KINF OD SITUATION DONT SIT ON YOUR AS AND WATCH…DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT , EVEN IF IT MAKES YOU UNPOPULAR…IT WONT. MAN UP, WOMAN UP, BE HUMAN.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 8:20pm
  60. Gays need to spread the word about the Trevor Project to help prevent suicides.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 8:39pm
  61. It is utterly heart rendering to think another of our Brothers was forced into a position to take his life due to the Evils of Bullying.
    Hate Crime, Hate incidents have such a dreadful devastating impact on their chosen victims.
    We in the LGBT community welcome all who stand up in defense of our community to eradicate this cowardly abuse. We to mourn Carlos passing, the wonderful dreams and ambitions he had and could of contributed to this world, Lost … But always in our minds and hearts. Sleep now Dear Brother ;o(

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 8:44pm
  62. :´( Rest in Peace

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 9:08pm
  63. my heart goes out to the family.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 9:30pm
  64. O God-not another-who are the parents of these bullies?-they should be held accountable-you either raise your kids right or you don´t-these aren´t parents-they´re hatemongers.-If my child had EVER done anything close to that she would have had to deal with me and it wouldn´t have been pretty..

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 9:36pm
  65. so dam sad.. this has to end

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 9:37pm
  66. Unfortunately or fortunately, I am not wise enough to know, there will be no riots, no mass protests and very little press over this travesty. RIP and god bless you, your friends and Family.

    Posted on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 10:34pm
  67. Heartbreaking. Again! Somehow we have to do an even better job of letting kids know that it´s OK to be gay, that things will get better, and give them practical support tools for being SURE things are getting better. Like how to find an appropriate shelter if they´re fleeing oppressive parents, or a lawyer who can help them MAKE a school stop the bullying (or get them transferred to a safe school). Etc., etc., etc. We can´t prevent all of the suicides, but we can sure make a stronger (and more practical) effort to help kids find alternatives to killing themselves!

    Posted on Wednesday, July 17, 2013 at 12:03am
  68. My heart weeps…..

    Posted on Wednesday, July 17, 2013 at 1:18am
  69. heartbreaking!

    Posted on Wednesday, July 17, 2013 at 3:22am
  70. This story made me cry. I was bullied when I was growing up, not by the kids I went to school with, but by my family.

    Posted on Wednesday, July 17, 2013 at 8:32am
  71. as pessoas estão se matando

    Posted on Wednesday, July 17, 2013 at 2:35pm