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Views & Voices

Marriage – Gay or Straight – is not about religion…

Sunday, August 19, 2012

I read a comment on an article I had written about the Romney / Ryan ticket and their stand on their opposition to gay marriage.

“marriage IS about religion. If you don’t care about God why would you care about being married? Most people get married in a CHURCH, and then a preacher wont marry them because it goes against what the Bible says.”

I don’t know if this person is gay or straight, but they left a few other comments that showed their bias when it comes to issues that affect the gay community.

Let me enlighten this person and others who may be confused on the subject of marriage…

Marriage in the United States of America is NOT about religion. The act of getting married to someone is not a religious act. It’s not based on any religion, any Bible, any book, any belief, any potion, any leader, nothing. One does not have to be religious to get married, and religious leaders do not have to preside over a marriage ceremony to make a marriage legal.

Religion has no legal influence on any marriage. You do not have to hear: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church: which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence…” to have your marriage be legal.

To be legally married in the United States you need a government-issued marriage license and a certificate of marriage. Period. This has nothing to do with religion – nothing.

You can argue that it should have everything to do with religion if you’d like, but legally, it has nothing to do with marriage.

See the beauty of the First Amendment to the Constitution is that it prohibits the government from telling the many religious sects what the meaning of marriage is, AND it also stops the many religious sects from telling the government what the meaning of marriage is.

Well – allegedly, that’s what it was set up to do. This is where the problem begins and ends when it comes to marriage. – Religion.

I understand that there are some churches that do not now, and will never allow the concept of gay marriage to enter through their doors. Fine, I get that. I’ll leave you to worship whatever you chose to worship, I won’t try and close you down or picket outside your doors or give millions of dollars to politicians to keep you from your Constitutional rights as an American.

I’m not saying you have to accept gay marriage – I’m saying you have no legal right to ban it.

You don’t have to care about God, or even believe in a God to care about marriage. If you need religion in your life to get you through the days and nights of what the world throws at you, then by all means you have the freedom to have your religion.

Worship whatever god you believe sustains you and carry on with your life. Just try to understand that not everyone has to believe as you do, and live as you do.

However, if your god and your pastor/priest/whatever doesn’t teach tolerance, understanding and loving one another, you might want to regroup and look elsewhere for your inner peace.

My partner Susan has been my wife in my heart for 30 years. She always has been, always will be. Her children are my children, her grandchildren, my grandchildren.

We share a home, and all that goes with the daily struggle to survive. We’ve been there for each other through the death of parents, friends, a grandchild, and pets. We’ve had good times, and bad times, we argue, we laugh, we cry, but mainly – we just love each other a little more every day.

Organized religion turned their back on us, so we looked inward and found our peace and our balance in the everyday living of life.

We have lived our life together without the benefit of a marriage license or a marriage certificate because here in the State of California millions of dollars were spent by the churches – Mormon and others – to make sure we couldn’t get married. They didn’t want us to ruin the sanctity of marriage… Well, we’re still together, so the churches have to keep fighting…

Marriage is about so much more than religion – so much more…

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13 more reader comments:

  1. It’s about being with who makes you happy <3^_^<3

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 9:21am
  2. It is a legal contract, a civil institution. the legal institution of marriage in the States is completely religiously neutral. All it involves is a government issued marriage licence. The ceremony and involvement of various clergy are all superfluous, they have no bearing on the legality of the marriage.

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 9:29am
  3. “See the beauty of the First Amendment to the Constitution is that it prohibits the government from telling the many religious sects what the meaning of marriage is, AND it also stops the many religious sects from telling the government what the meaning of marriage is.

    Well – allegedly, that’s what it was set up to do. This is where the problem begins and ends when it comes to marriage. – Religion.” Love that section. I am not gay but I am all for EVERY HUMAN BEING being treated fairly and having the same rights.

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 9:34am
  4. i agrei, we must. thanks. please add me in friend

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 10:06am
  5. And politics have played a huge role even from the beginning. Love is rather a new thing.

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 10:07am
  6. Its so funny how we are fighting this hard to be able to get married and the ones trying to stop us aren’t even getting married themselves anymore…..

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 10:31am
  7. something I never got is why do people have to have a license to get married, drive a car but don’t have to be required to have a child? Seriously like wtf.

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 10:54am
  8. Pisses me off that religion doesn’t seem to stay out of Government. They have no business getting involved in matters of the State and secular laws of this Country.

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 11:13am
  9. Without even getting into the marriage debate, ask the Christian these simple questions:

    (1) What reason do we have to believe that the Bible should be used as a guide to anything, moral or otherwise?
    (2) Given we live in a pluralistic, liberal society, explain to me how your specific religious conception of marriage (contrasted with people who confess your same faith, but disagree) is supposed to be legislated into law?
    (3) As a Federal and State sanctioned legal contract, where one can obtain a marriage license without religious blessing, why is it somehow still a “religious institution,” given that the State’s involvement makes it a secular matter?

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 11:18am
  10. Historically, the church did not get involved in marriage for hundreds of years. Marriage was a business contract between families. Religion got involved to try to exert control over additional areas of people’s lives to make them more dependent on the church. The BBC had a program that discussed it. I can’t remember the name, but it’s on Netflix

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 12:20pm
  11. it’s adhering to and thus “legitimizing” the bogus bullshit of (the Church and) the State. fuck that.

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 12:26pm
  12. Marriage is supose to be between two people who LOVE each other, gender has no true defenition in the matter.

    Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2012 at 3:34pm
  13. People who don’t agree with same sex marriage hide behind religion. How else could they hustify the way they feel?

    Posted on Monday, August 20, 2012 at 8:25am