This is a letter that I hope is seen by a Home Depot employee named Randy.
Randy was really nice… very chatty… when I came into Home Depot today to get the materials for a fort my girlfriend and I are going to be building with our kids this weekend. I love chatty employees. :)
Randy and another employee were talking about how America is going downhill because of the jobs being outsourced, etc. I chimed in, agreeing with most of what they said. The employee (not Randy) asked what I did for a job. I told him I was a blogger. Randy and the other employee asked what I blogged about, so I told them – a little of this, a little of that… recipes.. controversy – they asked for my blog address, and said it sounded like it would be fun to read.
Then the employee asked if I blogged about politics. I said no, because I’m not really passionate either way on most subjects to be able to debate them. Randy said he was! So I told him he should start a blog about politics. :) Then he said “Well, I was just raised differently. People don’t think like I do.” Sounds like a recipe for controversy to me!
What Randy said next made my jaw drop.
“Those gays… ya know… this country is in the crapper because of things like that. Them trying to take marriage and turn it into something different… I can’t stand it.”
There I am, just standing there, staring at him. Like, please tell me you did not just say that? At this point, I’m guessing his gaydar is broken – and I forgot to wear my big rainbow “I’M A LESBIAN” t-shirt. So, I just smile and nod.
The other employee is looking at Randy, not sure what to say. He didn’t seem to want to agree with him, but he probably didn’t want to start a war. I started to push my cart away, to pretend to look for something else in another aisle, when Randy started talking again.
“Family… man what ever happened to family? We can’t even have families anymore. Gay marriage should be banned in all 50 states! But you know that won’t happen cuz the GLB..whatever that gay organization is, they’d be marching downtown saying how they wanted marriage too!”
I just smiled, nodded, and walked away. He tried to ask me about a chicken recipe as I was walking out of the aisle. I wanted to scream at him.
Guess what? I’m a lesbian AND a vegetarian, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
But… I didn’t. I just walked away. I hope he finds my blog and I hope he reads the letter below.
It was really nice chatting with you today. You said your wife would love to read my blog, and you said you would, too. You thought that it was interesting that I blogged about controversy, even though most moms don’t like to. Then, our conversation got derailed. Just when I was about to mention my girlfriend and how she loves to cook, too, you started talking about politics and gay marriage. Why you had to ruin our nice conversation is beyond me, but I took it in stride. I listened to you with an open mind, and gave you the floor.
When you said gays were ruining marriage, I wanted to ask you to clarify. HOW are gays ruining YOUR marriage? Does your wife want to leave you for a woman? Are you going to leave her for a gay man? Are you addicted to gay porn or something? I mean, how exactly, is me being in love with my girlfriend, a bother – at all – to your marriage?
You’re my age, or maybe older, so I don’t think you can use the excuse of “how you were raised” any longer. It’s time you get your own thoughts together, and use your own brain. And if you still decide that gays are so horrible, then fine. But come to your own conclusion.
Why do you think it’s okay to tell someone that type of thing, anyway? My 5 year old was with me. Luckily she was distracted with her baby doll, but if she had heard you… she would have been upset. You were basically telling her that her parents are ruining this country. Really? Because I can think of 100 other things that would ruin this country before love would.
This country is being ruined because of close-minded bigots, and because of people like me that don’t open their mouths and educate people like you, like I should have today.. I should have stood up to you. I should have told you what I really thought and felt. I should have somehow tried to change your mind, but I didn’t want to be the “crazy lesbian woman” you saw at the store today. I just wanted to get my damn PVC pipe fittings and go home to my family – my girlfriend and kids- and build a fort. If that ruins your marriage, then your marriage wasn’t very strong to begin with.
a.k.a., the lesbian you insulted at the store today
P.S. I am not mad at Randy. I’m sad. I’m disappointed because he seemed like a great guy – and he might be a great guy, but I don’t even care to find out after the hurtful words he shared with me today.
Filed under: Views & Voices